Monday, January 28, 2013
I've always been an attention whore. Not in a drama-filled, clobber the other kids kind of way. Nope, in a "LOOK I'M SO AWESOME YOU HAVE TO LIKE ME NOW! OMG! RIGHT? RIGHT?!!!" way.
Since digging deep and realizing exactly what was going on, I've improved on that, but I still love attention. That's one of the reasons I don't really drink: all of my slightly-repressed "ME ME ME!"s come out and play. I start showing off in every way I can, in hopes that someone will recognize the awesomeness that is me :)
I still prefer to excel at everything I do, but I have come to accept that there will always be things that I'm not good at that I still enjoy doing. So while I rarely "practice" things, I spend less time obsessing over how well i am doing and more time doing them and improving that way. Am I a mediocre foosball player? Yes, but I'm getting better and -- more importantly -- more consistant. Am I only a mediocre climber? Yes, but if you have seen the progression (and one of my friends recently noted), you'd be astonished.
I still want to impress people. I talk about my hectic life schedule because I want people to appreciate that I do a lot of things! Yes, I want them to come out and do these things with me, but more to the point, I still have the niggling thought in the back of my head that it's really about wanting them to wish they were doing those things WITH me. Yep! I want people to miss me and feel like they're missing out. Does that make me evil? I feel kindof juvenile, really, when it comes down to it. *sigh* Ah well.
My four-year-old self says, "I'm awesome! I swear! You should love me too!" I suppose there's nothing wrong with letting her out every once in a while :P
Any other show-offs out there?