2 questions were raised in this weekends BLC challenge
1- how will I feel when i have reached my fitness/weight goal and how will my life change?
2-forgive myself for one thing/regret from my past.
#1 It will feel AWESOME! and also scary! The idea of reaching my target is very foreign, but from what I have read from other sparkers who have achieved their goals maintaining can be even more difficult.
Also, I can only assume that the same way my confidence has grown from the changes I have been able to achieve over the past few year, it will continue to do so. One of my aims is to keep on working on the fears and walls that I let hold me back due to being so self conscience about my weight.
#2- there is one thing that has been on my mind the past while. Most of my spark friends will know that I have difficulty dealing with still being single. G-d has His plans, but it is my obligation to try and make things happen. For the longest time while I was very obese dating was pure nightmare material. I was miserable and most guys I met weren't remotely interested in seeing me a 2nd time. At the same time about a year in to this journey I met the brother of a friend of mine. He is a really nice guy, smart, thoughtful and he was suggested to me. I should also mention that he was really quite heavy. Now I was dealing with my own weight issues, which were starting to bubble up to the surface together with the emotional stuff that bubbles right along with it... There was no way I could take on someone's else as well and obviously he had issues (Heck-we all do!)
Fast forward a few years, he is back in Israel and is doing good, healthy, lost weight. A mutual friend of his sisters tried to set things up again, but nothin doin...
Did I make a mistake back then? Did my own above mentioned fears hold me back from having a completely different life than the one I am living now? Or would we just have been two unhappy people together, making each other even more miserable?
I will never know, but I do know I have to find a way to let it go. Whats done is done and I need to keep striving to be the best person I can be, now and for the future...
Thanks for reading