I feel fat. However ...
Monday, January 28, 2013
I'll spare you the rant I had cooked up for this morning. The scale is up. I'm pissed. I'm back on track and the scale isn't budging and it is just plain unfair. I hate you, scale.
OK, well, at least it was a mini-rant and not a full force pounding of negativity.
Anyway, I'm feeling fat. I'm finding myself nitpicking everything on my body. That lump, that bump, that roll, that curve. It's obnoxious and unhelpful and I want to stop, but the thoughts just keep coming.
I worked so hard to get into the size 12 pants from The Limited. Last night as I packed the gym bag I grabbed the old 14s instead, thinking the 12s would be too much for my fat self. I'm better off in the 14s, since they won't be tight.
Well, I'm wearing the 14s, and guess what? They're still too big. They're twisting and turning and drooping.
It's five pounds. It's not the end of the world. I ran a treadmill 5K in 38:45 this morning, so I know I'm moving better and faster. I've been to the gym 13 times in January, which is more than twice my November and December totals. My body is stubborn. I know this. It's not going to come off overnight. But it is going to come off if I keep working hard and don't give in to the negativity.
(But I still enjoyed my giant middle finger to the scale yesterday morning. F that thing.)