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Pep talk for the week ahead

Monday, January 28, 2013

Unexpected things happen all the time. The best deal is to have a plan, but not be so tied to it that anything "unexpected" derails it. And be committed to the spirit of the plan, even if the letter of it gets screweed up.

This week I have hanging over my head the possibility although not the liklihood of my ex showing up and calling at an odd hour. He lives 1200 miles away, and doesn't fly, has lots of excuses for not driving, had talked about possibly catching a train. I offered up housing and local transport should he make the effort to come.

He's always been unpredictable and it used to drive me crazy (one of the reasons we are ex-es). But this is his sister that we are bidding farewell and godspeed to, so for this week the rule is "cut him some slack", but don't let him get in the way of taking care of my own health needs.

I also have the uncertainty of whether my son will get released on leave early enough to make the service... I mentioned that yesterday, but he's 95% hopeful at this point, and I look forward to his homecoming whether it comes in the midst of or in the wake of the funeral activities. But we don't control the airline schedules or the speed of the military wheels.

Woven in around all of that are the normal events of life, attempting to *be* normal. I will go to work in a few moments... meetings to have, topics / puzzles to distract me... potentially interrupted by requests for support in the efforts to expedite getting home from my son. If those happen, my workplace already knows what I'm facing, and is incredibly supportive... for which I, in turn, am extremely grateful.

At times like this, the big times... we see it coming and brace ourselves with the stability of an eating / exercise plan. It's a ritual of self-care habit that underpins as the rest of life swirls about.

But is this not also true of EVERY week in our lives? Every week has the potential of disruption. Taking care of ourselves, accepting that we cannot control every little thing, and letting God or other people take care of their part is a key to living well... and to recovery from compulsions.

This is life. LIVE today! Spark on. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon emoticon
    1814 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/29/2013 12:40:02 PM
    no--Yu cannot control everything--and how nice of yu to offer the "'ex"" a room---I dunno if I could do that --so I admire yu!!-----I continue to hope and pray yer son#1 will make it home to his Mama----*S*---Hava great day Barb!Lynda emoticon
    1814 days ago
    Of course they are supportive. They have you and know your worth! emoticon
    1814 days ago
    The best laid plans . . .
    1814 days ago
    Yes - live today. Spark on!
    1814 days ago
    Everything will work out, just doesn't always work out perfect, but it will work out. Hang in there.
    1815 days ago
    I hope your son comes home soon. Flexibility is absolutely key to living your best life with the least amount of stress. I wish you the best during all these things going on.

    Have a great week,

    Karen emoticon
    1815 days ago
  • DALID414
    Yes, flexibility and open mindedness are key.
    1815 days ago
    Once again, right on the mark. Each day presents it's
    own challenges, distractions and interruptions to a
    normal life. Make the best of it and keep moving!
    1815 days ago
    Yes, ma'am ... that's the way of things and nothing we do can change it! I am wishing your son Godspeed and miracles in closing the distance between his body and your arms! emoticon
    1815 days ago
    1815 days ago
    emoticon emoticon to you and the entire family during this week. Congrats on being prepared for the week and hope your son makes it home.
    1815 days ago
    Every week does have the potential for disruption, but not to the degree of emotional disruption (I hope) you are currently undergoing.
    My not showing on Sunday would fit into the everyday/every week kind...
    The only peace I can offer is that Wednesday will bring some certainty and closure and I know you will handle whatever comes with grace.

    Namaste my friend.
    1815 days ago
    We never do know what's going to happen from on moment to the next. We can make plans but we also have to be adaptable. Nice of you to offer to help your ex. Hope your son makes it in time but I know that whether he does or not, you're very soon going to have that happy reunion with him!
    1815 days ago
    Life certainly does get in the way of our plans. God bless and take care.
    1815 days ago
    thinking of you. do take care of yourself. You are a good person to give the ex a little slack.
    Peace be with you!
    1815 days ago
    Sorry for the loss of someone close, but wow, you are WAY more accommodating to your ex than I would have been with mine (he has passed) or would be to my husband's ex. Great example of taking the high road (I'd be mired in the mud).

    1815 days ago
  • GABY1948
    You are doing emoticon in my book! Keep up the Good Work, Barb! emoticon emoticon
    1815 days ago
    Though the situation is one of sorrow, I am so glad your son is back from deployment and will be there to support you - whether he makes it for the funeral or later! You are so right - it is all in God's hands. Praying for you . . .
    1815 days ago
    You are right. Each week or even each day can be matter how much we try to plan. Anticipating what can happen leaves one more prepared for the possibilities though. Taking care of our self is the one thing we can do/control when life "swirls about". Your pep-talk blogs not only benefit you, but the rest of us and remind us to keep sparking even when times are hard. God bless...
    1815 days ago
    Great planning and anticipating. Such grace in being prepared to offer your ex a place to stay, and also accepting the unpredictability of his arrival/DS's arrival (or not). Tough. The predictability of the exercise and nutrition commitment are hugely helpful for me in a situation of pending chaose too . . . .

    Love your pep talks. Thanks for permitting me to eavesdrop on that interior space!!
    1815 days ago
    You are right, we can't control a lot of things but I have to ge control over what I can control!!! Thanks for the good blog, hope you have a good week, your son gets home on time and your ex doesn't give you any grief.
    1815 days ago
    ((((((HUGE HUGS))))) to you, Barb. You have a solid plan, so no matter what happens you know what to do. I pray your son gets released in time. BUG PRAYERS.
    1815 days ago
  • MIRAGE727
    Barb, I believe, no matter how the week unfolds, that you are ready to address the unexpected. That is rock solid. Wishing you best over the week!
    1815 days ago
    "It's a ritual of self-care habit that underpins as the rest of life swirls about." You are so right. Your ritual will help you through this uncertain and trying and wonderful time. So many mixed emotions. If you can get through this, Barb, you have passed some major test. "LIVE today! Spark on." I'll live vigorously and spark on partly because you do, Barb. Thanks.
    1815 days ago
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