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DEFEATED!! Or why Stonecot should never be allowed out on her own!

Monday, January 28, 2013

On Friday I decided to tackle two jobs that have been outstanding for a while. One, to reroute some cables in my dining room, that requires taking apart two units to get to the back, and the other, to replace the pull light cord in my bathroom.

I removed all the books from the dining room units, and carefully labelled all the various cables running in and out of the DVD player, Sky box and television, being quite creative with different coloured insulating tapes! I then disconnected them and put them out of the way. How to get the units apart? It looked like the only way was to take off the tops, then slide out the plywood backs. Screwdrivers in hand, off we go.

I always forget what a big, strong chap my husband was! I remembered how I used to have to get him to take off the handbrake in the car before I could move it. Just why he had to screw everything so tight I will never know, the classic was when I had to get him to turn the taps back on before I could wash up, and Iím not particularly feeble! Anyway these screws are on for good. I decided to leave it, and ask my son to loosen them when he pops in next before I ruined the heads of the screws and made them totally unremovable!

On to job two! Of course itís in the most awkward place possible, and above my head too. I take off the rose and start to unscrew the only two screws I can see, and I can only use my fingertips on the screwdriver handle because its so close to the wall. Wrong, the bit pops off the ceiling leaving the cord still attached! Screw them back, as tight as I can, and reassess the situation.

AH, there are two tiny Phillips screws a little lower down. Start to unscrew them. I didnít realize that there was a large spring in there, and as it decompresses, the whole thing leaps out of the ceiling and lands with a clatter on the floor! Start to pick up the bits, at least the knotted cord kept most of the pieces together, and itís only the tiny screws I have to find. Undo the knot, slide out the cord and we should be ready to reassemble it!

Unfortunately, as I slide the pieces off the cord, a small bit I hadnít previously noticed drops out and disappears onto the floor, again. That bit found, I carefully put on the new cord and put it all back together.

Back up the ladder. I now need at least three hands! I canít put both screws into the holes while holding against the spring and operating a screwdriver at the same time. Screwdriver stuffed in my cardigan, I battle to hold it all together. At this point, my ginger cat Archie, who has been sitting on the side of the bath, watching the entire proceedings with considerable interest, decides itís all getting boring now, and with considerable aplomb, stretches up and sharpens his claws on my bottom!

With a rude word I let go, and the whole thing flies across the room and ends up on the floor again!

I FINALLY find all the pieces, the smaller spring finally turning up in the cats (mercifully clean) litter tray, but now of course, I have absolutely no idea how it went together. Archie banished to the garden, I sit down and start trying to work out how to get it back together.
At the third attempt, I think I have it, so back up the ladder I go. This time I carefully put one screw in, and place the other on the top of the door frame, then start to screw it all back together. Then suddenly all the lights come on!

I scream and jump, the whole thing flies across the room, and lands on the floor, AGAIN, an extremely rude word is spoken, and yours truly nearly needs clean underwear!

By now, Iím getting quite good at putting it all back together. I go downstairs to the fuse box, and switch off the upstairs lights, back upstairs, up the ladder, then with a satisfying Ďclickí the whole unit pops into the ceiling and is screwed in. So confident am I, that I screw the rose back to the ceiling and put the ladder away! I switch the fuse back on, pull the cord and we have.....NOTHING! Not a click, not a glimmer!

So tomorrow, I will go to my local DIY store and buy a whole unit, that I can just put straight back in. I will NOT give in!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
EOWYNRUSS 1/29/2013 10:02PM

    LOL! Even though I love DIY, and am generally very good at it, I must say that I have had many episodes like you experienced with this. Been there, destroyed that. When things go wrong, we always say to each other, "Someday, this will be hilarious." The only comfort I can offer is that if you drop any tiny bits and can't find them, pull up a chair and camp out for a bit, because your cats will think the bits are new toys, and will find them for you! emoticon

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CHICCHANTAL 1/29/2013 4:05PM

    Blimey I'm so glad I haven't got the balance to even attempt all that!

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CATLADY52 1/28/2013 6:46PM

    I don't know whether to laugh or cry in sympathy. You have a lot of determination and I don't think that anything could stop you, except tightened screws. You will succeed!

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LIZZIE888 1/28/2013 4:43PM

  This is not defeat... this is merely a small setback. These jobs, although masquerading as small, are actualy the trials of the Titans, so don't be put off that you don't succeed at once. The trick, as you know, is not to mind that you didn't manage it in one hit and come back at it another day, with a different army and different weaponry! You will prevail!

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OLIVIANIGHT 1/28/2013 4:40PM

    Haha that sounds exactly, step by step what I would do with the light cord! So not a DIY person.

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MARUKI52 1/28/2013 11:34AM

    This was such an amusing blog. It had me laughing so much (not good though when you have a bad back). I read it to the family, all technically minded and cat lovers, and they all laughed out loud finding it very amusing as well. (They of course, unlike me, had all done battle with pull-cords before so know exactly where all the little bits go.) I hope that by now you will have a new pull-cord installed in your bathroom and that your cat has been forgiven and is no longer banished to the garden.


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AKELAZ 1/28/2013 11:07AM

    It's quite plain that you'll win the next round - you have such determination. I know how frustrating these things are and cause what my son calls 'expletive emissions' but I also know how good you'll feel when you actually DO win the next round. Thanks for your hilarious account - don't think I'm quite up to being amusing about my own DIY ventures but thanks very much for the smile.

PS Next time Archie wants to help perhaps you should explain that too many cooks . . . . . .

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MAMADWARF 1/28/2013 11:03AM

    Haha I can just feel your determination and frustration. I'm proud of you for not giving up! And your cat is very naughty! With a great sense of humor! Lol

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GOLDENRODGIRL 1/28/2013 10:52AM

    I think the actual problem may be that your home is booby-trapped! I'd blame the cats.

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MILLISMA 1/28/2013 10:25AM

    I'm am sitting here laughing since I can also say "been there, done that". You painted a great picture of your adventure. Bless you for attempting this on your own and for giving me a smile.

hugs....Mary Anne

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KIWIANN 1/28/2013 10:09AM

    Wow!! Thanks for sharing your adventure! Hope it goes better tomorrow!!

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-POOKIE- 1/28/2013 8:50AM

    You filmed all this right? We could do with a laugh!!

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SHELLYBABE2 1/28/2013 8:48AM

    emoticon OMG you sound like I do whenever I tackle any diy kind of job TFS gave me a wee chuckle :) I've no doubt whatsoever that you will complete the jobs successfully your enthusiasm and determination are inspiring!


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SENIMMO 1/28/2013 8:27AM

    Oh my! You are much braver than I am. I'm not really afraid of working with the electric, but I don't do well with ladders. When the pull cords for our ceiling fans and lights needed lengthening, I just tied string until someone else could climb the laddder emoticon

So, emoticon

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XTINA46 1/28/2013 8:14AM

    You have such a hilarious sense of determination! Whether the bog is underfoot or on the ceiling, you've got grit! Love your blogs and often imagine you in your everyday life, thinking of your spunky spirit tackling life head on!

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    How brave you are.
I am quite afraid of electricity... I really hate getting bitten by static electricity. I do not want to tangle with the mega-power that fuels the lights etc.
Loved listening to your story.

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ESCHLETZ 1/28/2013 6:11AM

    Kudos to you. I think I would have given up on the light by the second attempt!

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RAINBOWCHOC 1/28/2013 5:33AM

    A veritable test for the tapping thing. I'm sure the gremlins are hiding somewhere and it seems they were in the ceiling rose.

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COCK-ROBIN 1/28/2013 5:01AM

    Wow, I hope it gets better.

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COCK-ROBIN 1/28/2013 5:01AM

    Wow, I hope it gets better.

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CHRISTINASP 1/28/2013 4:53AM

I think that Archie was telling you to forget it and come out to the garden to play!!!

Comment edited on: 1/28/2013 4:53:49 AM

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