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FUBAR


Sunday, January 27, 2013

Fell completely off the wagon this weekend, I didn't even fall off, it was planned. My Granddad died a week and a half ago, now we weren't majorly close but he's still someone that I've known all my life so its a somewhat strange feeling knowing he's not here anymore. He had heart failure and had been in bed a while, but my mom thought he might pull through, so I didn't realise how ill he was. I visited just in time I guess, he couldn't talk by the time I got there, and he was out of breath just lying in bed propped up. When I walked into the room I almost passed out I was so shocked about how he looked. He couldn't even move his neck to look at me. So I talked to him for a bit, but its hard doing all the talking with someone who normally dominated the conversation, then he started making gurgling noises, and I got freaked out and said i'd get my uncle to come up and left the room. my uncle said he'd been doing that, made me a cup of tea and I chatted with him and my nan to calm down. Anyway, I went back up literally 10 minutes later and he'd died. So i was the last person to talk to him, and then i found him gone.
I think ive been too freaked out by the whole thing to feel upset, it didn't seem real, more like watching a horror film, but its slowly sinking in and im not feeling too good.
So yeah. Meal out with friends because I'm moving away (Again) drank at least a bottle of wine, and then more drinks at the pub afterwards, then i don't like to think how much i ate today, i daren't log it I know it was a bad day. The only exercise ive done is walking to the comic shop and i feel rough as hell!
Looking at it as two steps forward one step back. Tomorrow i want to be really healthy but because im moving away everyone wants to go out for lunch or dinner or drinks or coffee ...you get the picture. What i really want to do is detox. just eat fruit and veg nothing else but my mom wants to go out to lunch with me so its completely impossible :( i guess ill just pick the healthiest thing on the menu and listen to her going on about how you have to treat yourself sometimes, blah blah how am i supposed to have will power when im fighting not only my own temptations but the forceful suggestions of other people?

Anyway, i shall end the blog on a happy note, i have two new posters for my new bedroom wall, a 3D doctor who one with Matt Smith and Karen Gillan and an Adventure time poster. Because im THAT cool XD Almost ready to move and looking forward to my new surroundings very much. When i went out with a group of people that work there already, one of the girls asked who the Totoro purse belonged to

this is Totoro for anyone who doesn't know him :D if you haven't seen the film its the cutest thing in the world!

so i think i'll fit in there lol geeky + outdoorsy = happy becky

oh and did you know you can get chickens with feathers on their actual feet?!?!?


When im sorted out i WILL be getting one of them lol sooo cute, it looks like she's wearing little snow boots!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
DIBANANA 1/27/2013 4:55PM

  It is difficult to see someone die and especially someone you love. It sounds like you have plans to move on to a healthier lifestyle Good luck in your new surroundings. I'm sorry for your loss.


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