This just happened and it's an "A-ha" moment, so I want to capture it right away.
Background: Yesterday everything was going well, first time I did a 4th 45 minute cardio session since I started SP (this has been my goal). Food, good. Then I was on my way home, and really really hungry (dinner time). Too hungry. I thought about going home and cooking, and how long it would take, and it was too long. So I stopped at the grocery store for some comfort food and went home. Much better comfort food than I would have chosen before, but still.... way too many calories.
OK, so today: Bigger breakfast than I've had in a long time, visiting with my mother. Full, and not feeling good about myself, from last night. Other things, then got home. Needing to do some work, practice (violin), exercise. Feeling blah. Wanting to have a snack. I see bread and cheese, which I have not been eating much at all, and that's an old snack that I used to have (which always lead to more...). Not "bad" but too many calories with the rest of the day still ahead of me. And I could feel that "giving up" feeling happening, like, that dull inner sensation, of sliding downhill... you know what I mean. Like, the inevitability of failing.
As I was reaching for the cheese in the fridge, another voice inside me said, No, have the popcorn. The fat free popcorn that has been my afternoon snack for a couple of weeks, microwave Trader Joe's 130 cal's, big bowl full.
And in that moment - Everything Changed. Everything Changed.
My energy immediately went up, as I reached in the cabinet. Literally, really, I felt a surge of focus and energy and determination - a "Yes I Can" feeling - And In a Moment, Everything Changed.
Put the popcorn in the microwave, got the broccoli and squash and green beans out of the fridge, to cut up and prepare for steaming for dinner. Turned the oven on to roast the sweet potatoes to have as a snack later and tomorrow.
A-HA. This is what the "A-HA" moment is, for me, right now. Like something snapped back into place. My determination, my YES, my Remembering Myself, Remembering what I really want and where I really want to be heading.
WOW - I'm thrilled! I'm thrilled to have been present enough to 'catch it", to have it an enjoy it, and to share it with you. I can't but help think, that the "other voice" is the build up of the work and focus and attention that I've put in on SP, and Spark Coach, over the last 6 weeks since I started. THIS is the moment, where the scale tips in favor of Me. This is good, really good
Since nothing is a steady state, what I'm hoping now, is to take this precious moment, and let it grow. One moment at a time, one positive experience at a time. I have no illusions that I will never have another "bad" meal, or bad day. Might have one tomorrow.... but This Experience is one I can reach back into, for strength, and remembrance of my True Self.
So - Make a Different Decision, you can do it, this other voice is inside YOU too. Make a different decision, a small seemingly insignificant decision - and watch how Everything Changes for you too :).
Till next time