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    EDDYMEESE   10,974
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340 - no, no, no!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

The last week+ has been CRAZY for me. I've barely gotten any steps in and I haven't logged food and I haven't logged in to SP. OF COURSE I also didn't lose weight last week and I'm two days away from a weigh-in and likely haven't lost, either. Not good. I have to keep the momentum going.

So here I am. Cleaning day today and a bit later, I have to go to my friend's house to pick my car up so I'm going to walk there (about 2.5 miles). I know I haven't even been hitting 10k steps, but I think I need to kick it up to a 15k goal. At that range, with logging, there's no excuse for not losing weight.

I was at a housewarming party yesterday and one of the guests is pregnant. She's 34. It took them FOUR years of very actively trying to conceive (OPKs, timed intercourse, Clomid, herbs, acupuncture, etc). I love stories like hers. They give me hope! She didn't even ovulate....at all....and she's now carrying twins. Journaling has shown me that another woman's pregnancy has nothing to do with MY chances of having kids. Every time another woman gets pregnant, I think of it as her success and my failure and I get depressed and beat myself up about it. But this journey isn't about anything but my future child. An unproductive cycle is not about failure, since failure can only be determined when the journey ends without success. But I see a rainbow at the end of MY journey. Maybe my journey will take longer than another's, but I count myself lucky that I have a wonderful job, husband, home and life to offer to that child when he decides to join us!
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MORTICIAADDAMS 1/29/2013 10:12AM

    Since my bout with the viral world I have not been getting my 15,000 plus steps in or eating on plan either. Seems like there is always something that can come up to derail my diet and those of others. We need to brainstorm and come up with a solution to this problem. The obvious solution is time management - we need to find a way to get the exercise in and healthy meals fixed in minimal time. That's kind of hard for me and I'm sure you too due to limitations on our time. My doctor will only okay certain exercises due to medical problems so intense short workouts are off the table. I need an hour or two of mild exercise a day to lose weight consistently and it has to be at home because I don't want to waste an hour commuting to a gym or pool. So that leaves finding less time consuming healthy meals. It never has been my strong suit. It seems like I need to research this more as I really don't have 3 to 4 hours a day to devote to this. At some point it all falls apart and I'm stressed.

You will be a wonderful mother when your time comes. You will be prepared. I was not chosen to be a mother until I was 32. As I look back I can pretty much understand why. My life was very stressful before that - going to college, taking a stressful job, being in a bad marriage, divorce. My ex practically accused me of doing something to not get pregnant but in hindsight a higher power was looking out after me. My ex went on to remarry and had 3 kids he abandoned. That could have been me. I had my son at around the same time that he has first son.
My hubby is a wonderful father. I have 2 friends who had unsuccessful fertility treatments which cost thousands of dollars and then got pregnant naturally in their early 40s when they gave up !!! I know this doesn't apply to you but the stress part does. Hang in there and keep positive. You will reach your goal.

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CONFUSEDBIRD 1/28/2013 8:38AM

    I love your positive outlook. He's looking down on you guys, waiting for the perfect time to jump in =)

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ANGJENN822 1/27/2013 2:47PM

    emoticon and good luck on your journey!

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