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There's a reason I do this alone.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Over the last couple of months, I've reluctantly responded to requests to be someone's "accountability buddy". I knew off the bat that this probably wasn't the best idea, but I did so anyway thinking that it might help me.
Here's what I've found (which is basically what I already knew):
The people who claim they want it the most are the ones who stop writing first. People who claim they want someone to keep them accountable tend to be people who don't want to do the work at all.
I've had workout buddies that bail on me, or don't want to work out as hard, or even claim that they've "earned" a fast food lunch because they've worked so hard. I guess I'm just frustrated with that whole thing. I've never been into buddies, or workout partners. Even when I do workout with other people, I still do my own workouts first. That ensures that I get the right intensity for myself, rather than just taking a 20 minute walk and thinking that it's going to be enough.

You can't rely on someone else to motivate you. No one is going to care whether or not when you lose weight, but you can bet that when you do, people are going to suddenly show up and act as though they've had some hand in it. I can guarantee that my family isn't going to love me any less if I do or don't lose weight, and my fiance isn't going to leave me if I don't lose weight. He was there while I ballooned out to my worst weight, so I'm pretty sure we're safe.
My point is, people need to understand that no one else is going to do this for them. Excuses need to be dropped. I understand that this is in fact a lifestyle change, but at what point do you admit that maybe 20 minutes of slow paced walking isn't enough!? I understand not cutting foods out of your diet, but when you eat a half cup of ice cream, a serving of cookies, and then a serving of chips followed by a serving of chocolate pudding, is that still 'moderation'?
I guess I'm just SOOO completely annoyed right now. To the point where it's probably not a good idea for me to be social. I have friends who have wanted to be workout buddies, and then say that they're too tired, or they only want to walk for 15 minutes. Sure, that's great, but obviously, our goals are different. Which is why I'm better off alone. I've always been better off alone when it comes to this. Friends quickly become snarky doubtful brats who doubt you more than you even doubted yourself, and then they act like they've supported you all along.
Well SCREW that!
I'm going to go to the gym now-ALONE.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you for, a sort of, reality check. I often have wanted to have a workout buddy, but at the same time have not found a good one. My neighbor Cathy? Perfect! Wrong! She "doesn't know when she can go because of work schedule" or her "legs are killing me". Now-don't get me wrong- these are credible reasons like she has Neurpathy in both feet, legs were years ago crushed by a car as she was sitting at a bus stop and work? She works 2 jobs-1 full and 1-part time.. So, I have determined that I, ME, will be my work out buddy!! I will get myself ready, worked out at my necessary pace and cooled down. I am sorry that you had the experiences that you did, but ROCK IT GIRL, we will set our own pace!!

    1850 days ago
    I agree completely. The people who ask for "help" are usually asking for someone else to do the work for them!

    People need to find the strength inside themselves to make this happen!
    1850 days ago
    I have found this to be the case too. Someone is always pulling the majority of the motivation weight. I think work-out buddies can be helpful but your thinking is right on that motivation has to come from within.

    Keep pushing yourself and eventually you'll find a like minded individual you click with, but you should never need motivation from an external source. Do it for you!
    1850 days ago
    I completely relate to this post. I enjoy having the buddy, but the buddy always ends up bailing. Meanwhile, I have given up my self-motivation and rested in the motivation of the two of us. When the "buddy" decides to go back to grad school and abandon fitness altogether (this very thing has happened twice for me, no kidding), I'm left to find my solitary motivation once again.

    I've decided that this is up to me and I have to rely on and strengthen what's inside of me in order to take this where I really need to go. I have to account to myself and do that with complete honesty.

    Thanks so much for your perspective. It greatly encouraged me.
    1850 days ago
  • JANAMP09
    I find the walking/workout buddies also doesn't work and is more de-motivating then it motivating. We all feel at times like not doing our workout but then if someone who is suppose to be doing it with you calls and says they can't (read don't want to) go then it provides you with the perfect excuse to stay home.

    Now instead of a workout buddy, I have friends at the gym. I look forward to seeing them in class and talking a bit before class but we meet there only because we are there at the same time with the same interest, not because it was pre-arranged. I will sometimes walk with them on the track but when I am ready to run, I run. A lot of time they join in which is great but if they have no desire then I just go on my own.
    1850 days ago
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