Sunday, January 27, 2013
I always dream of being 128 pounds again, so I see myself as I was back then. ... More energetic, going to dance aerobics (now zumba), feeling more confident about myself, not constantly thinking about food, wearing dresses, happier about life, not substituting food for intimacy, not hiding candy/cake wrappers from my family because I'm ashamed of not being able to control my emotional/stress eating, going out with friends ... just being more sociable outside of work and home.
I know that just losing the weight won't bring all of this back, as there are some emotional things that need to be dealt with (too). However, each time I lose a little bit more ... I feel a 'spark' of that thinner person and so try not to sabotage it by binging when the emotional stress attacks me. Basically ... one step forward ... two steps back. I would really like to see more of two steps forward ... one step back until it's all steps forward.