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CAMAEL100
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Reflections on where I am and where I want to be!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

I am just jotting down some ideas on how I expect my life to change for the better when I get to my goals:

I will be running a 5k in less than 30 mins.

I will be aiming for a 10k

I will be running in local 5k runs without caring who sees me.

I will have the energy to do anything I want to do

I will buy clothes, not because I like them and decide to buy them in a smaller size (as I don’t feel like this is my ‘right’ size!) but because they fit me well no matter what size they are. Clothes size will no longer define who I am.

I will be happy with my size. I have realised that I have been near my weight goal before but was not happy as it was not a weight I felt good at. I now have accepted and am happy that my goal weight should be lower.

I will be exercising because I want to not because I feel I have to.

But I think that in order to move forward one has to forgive themselves for failures in the past. We need to forgive, learn from and move on.

I forgive myself that in two years I have only lost a net of 9lbs. What I really need to forgive myself is for the fact that I have lost much more than that but have put it back on at least four times in that time! That frustrates me and annoys me and makes me feel I must be the most inconsistent, stupid person on the planet!

So today, I am starting at the only place I can – where I am at now. Time to forget that I have been 7lbs lighter at least twice in the past year! I am going to concentrate on what I have achieved in that two years. The main achievement is that I can now run a 5k!! Two years ago, I hadn’t even thought about running!!

Time to move on!!
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