one of my Spark friends wrote a blog about getting her mind to catch up to the reality of how much weight she's lost (she's closing in on 200 lbs GONE!!!)
here's the deal - people who see you on a regular basis can't see the change. This includes the one that sees you in the mirror. And we always have those voices from the past in our heads - telling us things that likely were NEVER true, and definitely are not true any more.
my older sister teased me when we were kids about being flat chested. Don't know if you're old enough to remember those Flatsy dolls. The jingle was 'Flatsy, flatsy! She's flat and that's that." Sis would sing that to me all the time. I WAS ABOUT 10 YEARS OLD! I wasn't suppose to have boobs yet!
Karma did come around and get my sis for those years of teasing: she had reduction surgery after her 3rd pregnancy. Like most women, her breasts got bigger when she was pregnant. Unfortunately, they didn't really go back down as much as they had enlarged. I don't know how in the world she dealt with it as long as she did!
a Flatsy doll
I also had a mole right next to my nose. Mom had it removed before I started junior high school. Sis would tease me about that too.
so all these years later I still think maybe I'm this flat-chested child with a mole on my face. But even with the weight loss, I'm a 34D. I don't think that qualifies as "flat". I have a small scar where the mole was, but it's really not noticeable.
those hurtful things folks say just stick with you way too long. I guess that's why I tend to be quiet. I can remember things I said YEARS ago that I wish I'd never said. So I probably overthink before I speak. I'm a born smart ass. Folks who know me well get my slightly warped sense of humor. Others do not. So I keep quiet when I meet new people.
a story for those who would like to teach the little ones in your life about hurtful words:
once there was a little boy who had a very bad temper. He would say things in anger, scream and yell at his friends and family. His parents always made him apologize, and the child was sincere when he said, "I'm sorry" but the boy would repeat the same behaviour again and again.
One day his father decided to try to help his son find another way to deal with anger. He told the child, "Here is a hammer and a box of nails. Every time you get angry I want you to go to the wooden fence in the backyard and hammer a nail instead of yelling or arguing with your friends."
The boy did as his father said. He hammered LOTS of nails! After a few weeks the boy went to his dad and said proudly, "Dad! I didn't hammer a single nail today!"
The dad said, "Son, that's great! Now I want you to remove one nail from the fence for every day that you don't get angry. You still have to add one when you do get mad, though."
After a few months the son called his dad out to the backyard. "Look, Dad. All the nails are gone!"
His father told him, "That is wonderful son. I am so proud of you! But look at all the marks in the fence. Those are permanent. They will never go away. Hurtful words can do the same thing. Once you say them, they cannot be taken back."
Yes, each of us is responsible for what we say or do. But it's also important to point out that we have the power to choose how we respond to others. It is very difficult. And it means you have to say, "I am responsible!" which is way harder than blaming everybody else for your problems. I can let the things others say or do bother me, or I can focus on the only person I can control - ME.
Every relationship you have (good, bad or indifferent) has one thing in common: YOU. That's the only person you'll ever change. You can't change the past. So learn from it. Focus on what you CAN change - yourself and your future. Make your inner voice positive. Every day when you look in the mirror, focus on what you do like about yourself.
if you have trouble with this concept, read "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". That book changed my life. I keep an audio copy in my car. When I feel myself sliding back to my old ways, I listen to that CD for a refresher.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at some one else; you are the one who gets burned. ~~Buddha
When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future. ~~Bernard Meltzer