I don't know how to start...
Brian's mom, my surrogate mom, was hospitalized briefly for observation and tests... this afternoon, Brian called me... She was recently diagnosed with what was assumed to be cervical or uterine cancer, and her new gynecologist was waiting for lab reports to come back... but the tests at the hospital showed something else.
It's in her liver, her lungs... everywhere. The doctors apparently told the family maybe six months, and that there's nothing they can do for her except make her as comfortable as possible...*sigh*
It's too sad. I love her and now I'm going to lose a mom all over again.
Brian blames her primary care physician, who has repeatedly misdiagnosed her with things that later tests by other doctors would refute... giving her drugs for nonexistent illnesses, drugs that made her sick --until she'd stop taking them and feel better. Now this... he's very upset.
I'd go down and see her if I had the fuel, but I'm not sure about getting to my doctor appointments even at the moment, and I KNOW her daughters will be there-- it gets a bit hectic when they're all there, and she really doesn't like crowds. I certainly don't want to add to her discomfort. I'm going to call and see how she's doing mid-morning tomorrow...
Even though I know it's part of living, and we're all in God's hands, right now the tears just won't stop... when I do see and talk to her, I want her to feel free to express whatever is in her heart, and not be concerned about me--and I want to help celebrate life with her during the time she is still with us...
...I need to be calm for her... and that's going to take a bit of work.
I'm going to go to bed and see if I can dream up something we can do together for fun. Something meaningful and/or frivolous...just because she deserves it.