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It's a Long Way Down

Saturday, January 26, 2013

I obviously didn't keep up with my food blog. It was partly because of the weird stares from coworkers when I capture my food shame on film, and partially because I was too tired to get on here at night. However, I have been in here entering my weight about once a week. I actually was losing for a little. It wasn't because of my great new outlook on life, but stress. I've had tons o drama with childcare issues, and the list goes on. When I get super stressed....I just stop eating. That was why I lost like 5 lbs, that I have already gained back. I am getting relay frustrated with this whole weight loss thing. I'm about in tears at this point, and considering the idea of bariatric surgery. I have seen several friend slim down, and become the people I always knew they were on the inside. I have also watched them have chronic health problems like ulcers. I even had one friend pass away hours after her surgery ( the part that scares me). I have two kids, and that is such a huge risk, but I also feel like I'm on a road to self destruction over my weight. I have pain everywhere in my body, I'm always tired, I can do the things I sued to even 30 lbs ago, and it's frustrating when nothing looks good on you, or you can enjoy doing things with your kids. Blah.
I have inquired about bariatric surgery in the past, I'd say about 6 years ago. I was told that once I lost 10% I would n longer be big enough. I'm fairly certain that now I would possibly qualify, and my health factors would play into it this time as well . I just feel like it's cheating, or that people would think less of me because I did it. I would love to have my old life back. Hec, I'd like to walk on my feet without pain, and not have a fat face. I'm sure if I bring it up the Dr will just try to give me advice in how to change my lifestyle. I know all this already, but it obviously hasn't worked. I just want to be the person on the outside, that I know I am on the inside. What do you think?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I don't know if bariatric surgery is the way for you, but I do know that you need to make your decision based on YOU and not on what other people think.

    Several people in my wider circle have gone the surgical route. However, none has sustained a weight loss with it -- except the one where the surgery was poorly done and her body could not absorb any nutrients at all. She was lucky to survive... And I know myself and my demons and if I do not deal with them I will end up right where I started. So surgery is not the answer for me.

    On the other hand, I can see where it could be for you -- or for me, in other circumstances. I don't think it is a cop-out. I don't believe it's a choice between surgery or do the hard work as surgery also requires huge amounts of hard work. It's really a question of which kind of work will work better for you -- and only you can know, really know, whether surgery will help.
    1723 days ago
    thanks so much :)

    1725 days ago
    I know how you feel. I struggle everyday being stuck in this fat body. I know there is a thin person in here just trying to get out. You need to do what is right for you. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Those people that will be quick to judge you have no clue how much you struggle. They would never survive a day in your shoes. If you qualify for the surgery then go for it. And if your doctor isn't supportive even after knowing that you have tried to change, then I say it is time for a new doctor.

    Good luck!
    1725 days ago
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