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What are the odds that EVERYONE around me has poor vision?

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Pretty slight, right?

Seriously, though, today the thought, "is she smoking crack?" passed through my mind a time or two.

First, I let my 4 year old play with the camera today while I was prepping some veggies. She captured a few shots that I frankly thought were great photography for a little one! I proudly posted her work on facebook, and was shocked at how many comments I got from friends and family about how I look. Works like "tiny", and "thin" kept showing up. Words that have never in my life been associated with me.

Here's the shot that garnered so much attention:

(pretty good for 4, right?!?!)

Later in the afternoon, a lady I've only talked to online stopped by to pick up some clothes I am selling. She told me she was worried about buying from me, because "I looked at some of your pictures on facebook, and you looked so tiny, I figured there was no way the clothes would fit me!"

Um, wait....... WHAT!?!?

I think sometimes I'm so overwhelmed by numbers related to my journey (highest weight 420, lost 170, regained almost 60, restart weight loss at 310. 78 lost again. 70 to go, etc., etc., etc) that I lose sight of what IS. I tend to think of myself as much heavier. I know I'm not thin, but I'm also not where I once was. So I forget that people who aren't seeing me day to day (or who have never met me) don't see me with the same baggage-filled filter with which I see myself.

I think I'm going to work on seeing myself with out that filter. I'm going to work on challenging the voice in my head that tells me how far I have to go rather than how far I've come. Besides... that voice in annoying. (No worries... I'm not psychotic. It's a figurative voice, not a literal one). I've always been a 'glass 1/2 empty' kind of girl. Maybe it's time to be a 'glass 1/2 full' type.

I'll work on it.

And just because turn about is fair play....

... I had to take one of her working in the kitchen too. (We were making oatmeal-raisin cookies).

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I kept thinking Yes yes yes yes all the way through your blog. That whole self image, filter thing works both for you and against you - for me, I am terrified of getting comfortable where I am at, which tends to happen when others comment a lot on how I look. And then sometimes, I act like the person I was 35 lbs ago (not confident, not brave). It's tough to settle into just BEING. You have a great spirit...and a really sweet little girl!
    1816 days ago
  • KRICKET231
    You look great and your daughter is adorable. emoticon
    1819 days ago
    From 1 glass is half empty girl to another! You Rock! Going to join you in changing some attitude to more "half-full days.
    1819 days ago
    I have no clue what I actually look like. I've bounced around the scale so much that I my brain can't catch up! It is drastic though for people that don't see you regularly!
    1820 days ago
    Congratulations to you on your success!!! You look Fabulous!
    1821 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1821 days ago
    You're amazing, but when you live with yourself everyday maybe it's hard to see it after a while. :) Becoming a glass 1/2 full type of gal is hard work. I'm trying stop being such a jerk to myself too. I don't think I ever fully realized how much effort that would take since the positive people in my life never had to work to be that way...I just thought there was something naturally negative about me and something naturally positive about them and that there was no changing that. Which now seems like an insane attitude to have when I'm looking at it in print. :)
    1821 days ago
    You look great!
    1821 days ago
    You look a absolutely awesome! Kudos to your daughter for snapping such a great pic! {And btw... totally jealous of your kitchen! WANT!}

    1821 days ago
  • CAMAEL100
    Cute daughter.

    Sometimes our heads take time to catch up with our size. Obviously your friends see a big difference. You have come a long way! Time to celebrate that.
    1821 days ago
    You look beautiful and happy. Enjoy every step on your journey.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1821 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon You look great, and your daughter is cute.
    1822 days ago
    You look great & I know exactly what you mean. I think it takes a while for our brain to catch up with what we really look like, (at least this was how it was for me). I was obese for so long that my image of myself even after losing 100 lbs was still the fat girl. It's gotten better over time, but I still have days when I get compliments from people and think (i don't see what they are are seeing). You're daughter is adorable & a great photographer too! emoticon
    1822 days ago
    Thanks for sharing the "snapshot" moment of your life. You look beautiful and deserve to bask in the glory of what you have accomplished, even while you continue to scale even higher mountains :). PS what a cutie, she is
    1822 days ago
    I have the EXACT same problem. We need to change the way we see ourselves to how we look NOW, not THEN. And you DO look really thin = )
    1822 days ago
    You look great. I wouldn't worry about those comments. You have come a long way, and recognize you still got a little ways to go yet. You should be more than proud of yourself. When you see yourself one way for so long it takes time to see yourself in another light. Great pics by the way. Keep up the good work.

    1822 days ago
    Very nice blog and yes, you look pretty tiny! I know for me, I still see myself as the fat guy, even after losing 100 lbs. It's a mental image we have of ourselves and it's extremely hard to shake (at least in my case it is). I also used to think the glass was 1/2 empty, but then I realized I wasn't a pessimist, I'm a cynic, so know I know that there was no glass to begin with!
    1822 days ago
    O M look emoticon

    have you done the size down clothing picture? You know the one - you take a shirt or pants that was the largest size you wore, place one (or more) of your smaller sizes on top of it and take a progress photo of the clothing. I've seen them on several Spark blogs. That may help you actually SEE your progress.

    it's difficult to get your vision of yourself to catch up with reality. Even more difficult when you've heard disparaging comments (or just somebody 'picking on you' about some sensitive issue).

    you've given me a good idea for a blog of my own
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1822 days ago
  • CATH5109
    You look radiant. I hope that your self image catches up with your reality. I am sure that it must be difficult sometimes so enjoy everyone's complements and let them sink in. emoticon
    1822 days ago
    emoticon You look wonderful and are getting small. and your little girl is adorable!!!!
    1822 days ago
    lol Sandy.... my hubby is a photographer (he makes commercials for a living) and it's my hobby, so she comes by it naturally.

    As for the cookies... next time I'm going to figure out a recipe to cut the butter and use applesauce.
    1822 days ago
    No your not old nor are you heavy, the little sweetheart is just growing up before your and my very eyes. Your looking awesome.
    Yes she should take up the hobby you may have a photographer in your family.
    Those cookies sound healthy and yummy! emoticon
    1822 days ago
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