I have been under the 200 lb. mark for about a year now, but that is where the weight loss story stayed until recently. I worked so hard to go from 215 lbs. to under 200 lbs. I got so excited yet frusrated with myself that I started try to rush the weight loss progress. I cut my calories really low to double the weightloss. Soon after that move, then I just basically gave up. I sabotaged myself as I have done so many times. It hurt because this has happened to me so many times, yet I can't stop doing it.

I recently started cutting calories...sensibly and using my will power to get through the cravings. I am now 191 lbs. I am happy because the scale numbers are finally moving again. I am sad because I have so much more weight to lose.

I wish I could learn to enjoy my weight loss success along the way and be proud of what I have accomplished. I am just so disappointed that it took so many years to get back to where I am. I just have such a long way to go.

I am so scared I will sabotage myself again.