Saturday, January 26, 2013
I really don't know what to do. I'm not his mother. It's not my place in his life.
Maybe I just don't have a place in his life. Maybe that's what this is all about.
I TOLD him this was a deal breaker for me. So he went out and did it again 2 weeks ago. Then wondered why I pulled away from him for two weeks.
I finally came around, and he goes and does it the very next day!
I can't do this. I can't need to spend my life worrying about it, not trusting him. I won't live like that.
And honestly, at this point, I don't trust him. Obviously. I sent someone out to spy on him last night. I'm not proud of it, but that's what happened. I couldn't reach him.
I finally blew up. Told him I'm thinking of not coming back. At this point, if I didn't love my job so much, I wouldn't go back. I know. There are issues at work too that are adding to this stress.
Right now, if I could, I'd transfer to Calgary and be done with this whole mess. I'm actually thinking of going back to work and working towards that. A transfer out of here. Or maybe it's just time to walk away.
Anyhow, I'm back in Calgary now. The drive last night wasn't so bad. I have all day today to do what I want to get done. Then I'm supposed to drive back to Estevan tomorrow. I don't really know what I'm going to do.