My dog doesn't belong in SP
Saturday, January 26, 2013
I have a dog who would be a disgrace to SP. She is an unapologetic glutton. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there were a hog somewhere in her ancestry. She loves, loves, loves to eat. Now, I am a mean doggie mom, because I don't want her to get fat. So, she sneaks around behind my back.
No food on the floor is safe. She is quicker than the five-second rule. Plus, she will jump up on a chair if said chair is not pushed in to the table - and who remembers to do that all the time? But her best trick is to jump up on the rim of the big kitchen trash can and scavenge through the trash.
I try to remember to always shove tasty morsels (like chicken bones and moldy cheese) deep into the can, but sometimes slip-ups happen.
So, the other day, she appeared with an odd splotch on her hindquarters. To be honest, it looked like a huge spot of bird, shall we say, excrement. But it was a little too white where it was white and black where it was black. It was also so big that it would have had to be a huge bird, and I don't think any such live in this neck of the woods.
However, it did look so disgusting I convinced myself that it would be a good idea to wait a little while before trying to get it off of her. The next thing I knew, she was trying to get out of her bed, but the bed was seriously stuck to her and she was dragging it around behind her. And it was stuck to her by the substance I had thought was bird poop! (Which isn't normally sticky, I just mention.)
I pulled out a scissors, thinking it would hurt less to cut it off than pull it off, if it was stuck. The next thing I knew, she came unstuck, and I gave the white and black stuff a good look - it was almost all on the bed at that point.
"It's.........marshmallow!" I exclaimed as the light bulb went on. "Partly burned marshmallow!"
And then I knew where it had come from. The night before it had been cold enough to build a fire in our fireplace, and Danny had decided to toast a marshmallow. But it got burned, and he stuck it right at the top of the trash.
Who would have thought the stupid dog would have dragged it out of the trash, then (obviously) decided she didn't want it after all, and lain down on top of it???? I used to think she wasn't quite the stupidest dog in the world, but now I think I was wrong.