So despite the bill stress and eating a dinner that I'd rather not even think about what went into it (I am utterly ASHAMED about the contents, but it was free I didn't have a backup, my mother and I didnt have another plan, etc.) I think I am ready to start my next new research for my new healthy lifestyle: running/jogging
Now, first and foremost, I have NEVER wanted to run in the past. I can hardly jog and I certainly am not ready to go out and job around the block or for even 5 minutes at a time, but the 1 minute I jogged on the treadmill yesterday and the couple alternating minutes that I jogged today have made me overcome my "I can'ts" about the possibility of me running one day.
The treadmill used to terrify me. My legs are uneven (literally a seamstress told me once) one hip is higher than the other and so I naturally walk sideways and running has always been uncomfortable, but this time around seeing the numbers on the treadmill tick up I can tell myself. "just a couple more seconds...wait until it gets to so and so" The belt underneath me definitely forces me to go, and if I need to stop it's only a quick button away before I walk a bit and then get the nerve to pump it back up to jogging speed.
I remember telling myself this when I was getting comfortable with the stationary bike too. What can I say? Electronic numbers on machines are comforting, it gives you something to look at when you think it is too hard.
So now that I think I can (I think I can.,...I think I can...) and I did not get thrown from a treadmill just because I increased the speed forcing myself into a jog I am VERY curious about the right ways to tackle this.
I had no idea there are so many resources out there! And not just running resources but how-to's as well! It's crazy when you think about it: needing instructions about learning to run. I remember all those horrible memories of gym class where the teacher just threw us out on a track and said "RUN!" But there is a method, there is research, and the more I read the more confident I become.
I think I can do this. And the result- even a MINUTE of jogging makes me feel like I've been on the bike for 10 minutes! It feels amazing. Now I think I know why people do it.
Oh and P.S. next shopping trip definitely need to buy some emergency stash of dinner for when mom pulls out her old reliable meals like she has done the last two nights, even portioning is not putting the guilt in my mind to rest.