Anxiety, Indulging, and a borrowed swimming suit.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Today is the kind of day where I want to sit and do nothing.. but I have too much to get done. This morning we went and filed out taxes.. and I am glad to say that we are getting a decent amount back. Just in time to pay a bunch of bills. *Sigh*
I'm also working on packing up our bag to go to Minnesota tomorrow. I haven't seen most of my family since August.. and some I haven't seen since before I lost any of the 77 pounds. So excited to see them all. I had to borrow a swimming suit from my sister-in-law because it is at a hotel so at some point we will be swimming.. and my top is way too saggy. I couldn't find a suit to buy.. and then realized I was not ready to buy one yet.. because I'll already need a new one for summer because I do not plan on being this size still when summer hits!
Right now just enjoying time with the kids. I know I will be indulging on food this weekend but I do know I will not let myself go too overboard. I don't want to set myself back too far.. I have an anniversary to celebrate in 3 weeks at which I know I am going to let myself indulge as well. It's been awhile since I just let myself eat whatever I wanted really.. so I'm gonna just go with it. Gonna make the best choices I can though. Plus.. I am bringing my sportband so I can go walking with my mama. She's definitely been one of my biggest motivators from the beginning.
Right now I kinda have some anxiety. I'm just starting to think about future things.. my anniversary, hitting goal (a little ways off yet.. but still anxious for it and not knowing how maintaining will go), going shopping for new clothes. I admit the idea of shopping for new clothes almost gives me an anxiety attack. It's been a LONG time since I've fit into the sizes I am at now.. and I never found anything that fit the way I liked. I know I am getting to the point of being able to wear cute clothes because I like the way they fit.. and not buying them just because they do fit. I really wanted to wear a dress for our anniversary but at this point I don't want to spend the money on something that I don't know we have the money for. Maybe this gives a reason for a real 'date' outside of just our anniversary? I want a nice date with my husband where I can dress nice and feel pretty.