Friday, January 25, 2013
I have been trying to get back in the swing of things for a while now.... sort of. I haven't been really active on here in months and I think that Sparkpeople is one thing that made me feel accountable, so even though sometimes I feel like I don't have time, I'm going to try to keep it up this time.
I've had some road blocks in my way that I need to work on, but I've identified some of them:
lack of motivation
lack of clear goals
Part of dealing with grief and depression for me is to live life normally, and to try to find things to be positive about. If my body image is poor, that will only make things worse, but I never feel better than when I eat well and work out.
Positive things to help: a friend joined my gym, setting goals, reward system
For me motivation comes when I have goals, and when I get encouragement from others, or something activates my competitive side. Having a workout buddy or getting challenges from my trainer helps my competitive instinct.
I just need to kick 'em to the curb. They put a kink in my workout, steal my motivation, and annoy everyone, myself most of all, because I always feel like crap when I use them, like how I feel after eating an entire chocolate bar. It seemed good at first, but when you use it all, you feel extremely guilty and let down.
Get some!! I don't really know what I want, and that's a problem. I know what I think I want, but some of those things are scary too, so fear of my goal doesn't really motivate me. Looking good and feeling good are definite dreams, but not specific enough, so I'm starting with a clear goal of 35-65 lbs lost by June or to be somewhere between sizes 4 and 12.
This is my idea bank for a reward system... I haven't decided on an order or a timeline, but I'm starting with a pool of things I want. Having a specific item each month is not as enticing as picking one from a bank to me. Anyway, here's what I have so far:
5lbs - small reward
10 lbs- medium reward
15 lbs small reward
20 lbs - medium reward
25 lbs - big reward
30 lbs - medium reward
35 lbs - big reward
40 + lbs - huge reward
Things I want so far:
New gym shoes
New gym outfits
Books: Beautiful Creatures
Kindle (or something like it)
Honestly, I never had to work at the motivation when I lost the weight last year, but this time, I have to work hard to find motivation each day. Some people close to me think I have post partem, and I agree, but I don't want to seek treatment for my own reasons. I believe I can pull myself out of it. Hopefully working out can be an outlet and help me get back on track.
Any advice or suggestions? Encouragement? (I need all of that I can get) Am I on the track to success or am I setting myself up for a fall? What do you think?