Thus far I have been really pretty consistent with the trance work. The only ‘skip’ I had was on Wednesday night when I thought was going to the Open House at the university. My plans changed last minute and then I found I was quite hungry and Carl was arriving home and would want dinner shortly. I got involved in dinner prep and forgot to do the pre-meal session. After dinner I found myself wanting to have some popcorn or some fruit, but I was able to sort of pause and examine it before I acted – so acting instead of reacting. The thing was, I realized that I really was hungry. I logged my dinner on Spark and realized I had only ingested just under 900 calories. So, being hungry made perfect sense. I went ahead and had a healthy snack – so no problem there. What I noted was a lack of ‘panic’ when I did get hungry and an ability to pause and make a good choice really without much effort.
I’ve now tried doing the bedtime session with my earbuds in while actually lying in bed, and doing it before I go to bed. I worry about falling asleep with my iPod and knocking it on the floor and breaking it, and I worry that Carl might be able to hear it, thus ruining his sleep. Also, while it does relax me, it isn’t quite calming enough for me to just doze through it, although Gurgevich says that nodding off is perfectly fine. Because I’m a bit more tense doing it in bed, I don’t get drowsy, but when I listen in a chair, I tend to drop off here and there and I am sleepy when I get up and get myself to bed.
The only real challenging moment I had was yesterday. I stopped by to see a friend who recently recovered from an illness to drop off some supplies and a gift. While we talk on the phone, I had not spent time with her in months. We decided to have two very small glasses of wine with our chat. I wasn’t worried because I ate really well up to that point. When I got home, I found that my mind was racing a little bit and I was thinking a lot about dinner. After dinner, even when I was full, the snacking popped in my mind once or twice. I decided to listen to this really short trance piece entitled, “Self Control Over Cravings.” It did the trick. I also found, however, that having the wine seemed to increase my appetite. I’m not sure why that is.
I’m still not exactly on fire to exercise, though I have fit it in several times this week and even opted to walk to my early morning dentist appointment (brrrrr). I guess the fact that I would even consider doing that is a victory.
I'm not sure how my weight target is coming along, but I notice that I also seem to have broken the incessant need to weigh myself, and that feels REALLY good. So .. when I get around to it, I will check. In the meanwhile, I am content with just feeling better. Overall, I am just feeling very confident and really happy to not have my monkey mind chattering all the time! I do think, however, that wine loosens his tongue so I am choosing to make that a rare treat ... and I'm really ok with that.