Friday, January 25, 2013
What would I tell my younger self.
I want to go back to a young child, a very protected young child and very shy. My mom didn't make me eat my freggies, in fact for breakfast she let me have cupcakes. As a teenager I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, but looking back....I didn't; I was skinny. I just needed some self-esteem. Mom was a bit controlling and overly protective. She was an older mom too. I hated milk and only had it on cereal. Do you think that is why I'm so short...4' 8".
If I could go back, I'd talk with myself, but also to my mom. I'd tell her that a child needs healthy foods to help them grow. Being short caused a lot of my low self-esteem. A big time picky eater which has followed me into adulthood. I would tell myself that I can do anything I want to do, be proud that I am short, it could be worse. Also, I am proportionate. I would show myself that some foods are really good and to just taste it. After all 'You are me!' and I'm eating it.
I regret so much the things I missed out of in school and just to have a social life. I didn't go to a church youth group progressive dinner because of my picky eating. I didn't join girl scouts because I was afraid there would be eating and maybe sleeping over or as that only for boyscouts? Anyhow I didn't take part. Also, I didn't go away to college because of wouldn't find things to eat and I was afraid to move away from home. I had a very controlling and protective mom.
Back to Present: I still have a problem with freggies, a little more sociable and more self-esteem.
If I could attain my goal I'd have more self esteem and feel taller. Hard to believe, but when I am at my skinniest, I feel taller that gives me high self esteem. I would be able to eat better at restaurants instead of picking this out and giving special order to the waitress.
Working on me will be a lifetime project.