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Friday, January 25, 2013

What would I tell my younger self.

I want to go back to a young child, a very protected young child and very shy. My mom didn't make me eat my freggies, in fact for breakfast she let me have cupcakes. As a teenager I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, but looking back....I didn't; I was skinny. I just needed some self-esteem. Mom was a bit controlling and overly protective. She was an older mom too. I hated milk and only had it on cereal. Do you think that is why I'm so short...4' 8".

If I could go back, I'd talk with myself, but also to my mom. I'd tell her that a child needs healthy foods to help them grow. Being short caused a lot of my low self-esteem. A big time picky eater which has followed me into adulthood. I would tell myself that I can do anything I want to do, be proud that I am short, it could be worse. Also, I am proportionate. I would show myself that some foods are really good and to just taste it. After all 'You are me!' and I'm eating it.

I regret so much the things I missed out of in school and just to have a social life. I didn't go to a church youth group progressive dinner because of my picky eating. I didn't join girl scouts because I was afraid there would be eating and maybe sleeping over or as that only for boyscouts? Anyhow I didn't take part. Also, I didn't go away to college because of wouldn't find things to eat and I was afraid to move away from home. I had a very controlling and protective mom.

Back to Present: I still have a problem with freggies, a little more sociable and more self-esteem.

If I could attain my goal I'd have more self esteem and feel taller. Hard to believe, but when I am at my skinniest, I feel taller that gives me high self esteem. I would be able to eat better at restaurants instead of picking this out and giving special order to the waitress.

Working on me will be a lifetime project.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Court, working on us ALL is a lifetime assignment. May yours find continued blessings and reasons to celebrate and savor as you grow each day stronger and when you look into the mirror I hope you see the strong, beautiful woman that so many do in the reflection and BELIEVE!
    1666 days ago

    You are a work in progress, my friend ! Just do your best ! emoticon
    1667 days ago
  • LEXIE63
    Interesting bit of self-reflection. I've been a bit controlling and over-protective too, with my kids, but with good reason as far as I'm concerned. What with one being badly bullied and mildly autistic, and with the other because I was abused as a kid, and then we both suffered at the hands of my first husband, which made me very scared about a lot of things. Sadly, how I was impacted my kids to a certain extent, but we have always helped each other through the tough bits, and they both understand why I am how I am. It helped, being able to talk about it with them.

    Maybe your Mum had her reasons for being like she was?
    Lex xxx
    1668 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/26/2013 6:37:12 AM
    I'm sorry to learn your mum let you down, although she probably thought she was being a good mum by being very controlling and protective. Also, probably thought she was making you happy by giving you cupcakes for breakfast! Some mums just don't get it right.

    I can't see anything wrong with being 4 ft 8 ins. We are all different sizes. Why would any one of them be wrong or right?

    I'm also sorry that learning to like foods that are good for you has been hard but pleased to see you are working on overcoming it. The best food, to me, is home cooked food and this is the best way to learn to enjoy fresh, natural food.

    I would never have guessed you have problems with self-esteem. Your photos look like you are a beautiful and confident person.

    I hope this insightful blog you have written will, in itself, help you to overcome your difficulties.

    1668 days ago
    Hmm, I'm curious about what brought on this stint of self-reflection. Makes me think about my own high school self. Plenty of mistakes, missteps and missed opportunities for sure - good topic, one we might all benefit from.

    1668 days ago
    WOw..thanks for being so honest!! Good job putting YOU down on paper....and may we all take ONE step closer to being healthy after this BLOG Assignment!!!

    1668 days ago
    Very interesting. I like your honesty. Remember - it is never too late to change or to experience some of the things you missed out on - you just need to find the means for doing it as an adult.
    1669 days ago
  • HHB4181
    as long as you're happy and healthy - that's what matters!
    1669 days ago
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