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    BUTTERCUPP76   9,723
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Accountability......
.Ummmm, Yeah

Friday, January 25, 2013

This can easily turn in to a whoa is me blog about how I am tracking my food and exercising and I'm still not seeing any weight loss. Unfortuanately, in all honesty I can't do that because I know it isn't 100% true.

Yes, I did track my calories......mostly. But I didn't track the other night when hubby and I went to the Mexican restaurant and I had the deep fried mahi-mahi tacos with latin slaw, black beans and rice. Or the other day when I was standing in the kitchen at the house and I was eating icing out of the container. I did track one of those episodes, but there happened to be another as well. Those were the two worst slip ups that I had this week and it completely derailed my efforts.

Exercise on the other hand is spot on. I went to Zumba twice this week where I burned almost 1500 calories between those two classes, and a couple of treadmill sessions mixed with some of the videos here on SP and some of my personal arsenol of workout videos has allowed me to burn mucho calories this week. So why derail all the exercise progress with eating way to much? This question has rumbled around in my mind for a long time and the only answer I can think of is because deep down I don't think I deserve this, that somehow I am not worthy of losing the weight. Why? I could list a whole string of things that I perceive as failures that make me unworthy.

It is all just an excuse. Deep down it all boils down to I'm lazy. It's hard to say no to that chocolate chip cookie staring lovingly out at me from the case at Starbucks, or their yummy delicious lemon pound cake or whatever it is that has caught my eye.

Yo Sara, guess what? YOU CAN'T OUT EXERCISE A BAD DIET!!!! Yes, I do make good choices sometimes but my clothes and the scale are telling me I don't do it often enough. It is going to be hard but thank the Wonderful Lord I have a loving supportive husband who is very willing to try new healthy dishes with me and to make the changes necessary to start that scale moving in the downward direction, maybe even for the both of us. ( We need to lose about 100 or so pounds between the both of us.)

So what I have been doing the last couple of nights is scouring SP for motivational people who my struggle but still are making head way. ***in a strangely hypnotic voice*** motivational people come to me! lol!

I do have to say that laying this all out there is somewhat embarassing but I am a real person with real struggles and real hopes and dreams. And, I AM WORTH IT! And guess what? SO ARE YOU!

So, heres to the struggles, the setbacks and most importantly the triumphs that this journey will surely bring! emoticon emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOBLUEBIRD 1/25/2013 2:01PM

  buttercupp76, I enjoyed reading your blog. I, too, have always struggled with the "why" of it all, and, like you, I always come to the conclusion that I am unworthy and lazy. We are told not to worry about the "why," just deal with it, but that's easier said than done. I think our emotions can "sabotage" us at times. Thank goodness Sparkpeople has ample areas to look for motivation. Keep pushing!

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CHEETARA79 1/25/2013 1:53PM

    Being 100% honest with the tracker seems like such a simple, no-brainer thing to do. But in fact it's not that easy, especially if you binge or eat at non-chain restaurants. I try to track as honestly as I can and my tracker is public for the world to see. But sometimes (usually on the weekend or once evening hits), my eating goes unaccounted. Why? Because I choose to overeat and not take notice of how much I'm shoveling into my mouth. I am working on this issue and it hasn't stopped me from losing weight. In fact, tracking my binges has really opened my eyes to how much I overeat and why.

So yeah, I think I've been pretty successful even though I am in no way perfect! I've lost 60ish pounds slowly over a couple of years. I've gone from a size 20 to a size 10.

You can do it! Keep tracking. Keep exercising. You will get there eventually. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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