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Power, Love and a Sound Mind

Friday, January 25, 2013

I had a little bit of a panic attack last night. Maybe it was because I found my 2002 Body for Life binder yesterday, and remembering what hard work it was. We didn't eat enough calories on that, I'm fairly certain. It was an all consuming obsession, and then one day I fell off the wagon. I went overboard on a dinner out, and the next day I had gained three pounds and I was done. (Like here, they recommended weighing no more than once a week, but I think my fall was in my obsessiveness, of which weighing was one symptom). Each day we apparently filled out a spreadsheet for each set or interval of a workout and each meal. I guess that's probably why I don't follow plans as much here. I track and analyze, but don't plan in minute detail.

As I was brushing my teeth last night, I found I was already thinking about breakfast and I thought "Oh no, I'm obsessing! Can I keep living like this?" I guess it was post traumatic stress. I've known the potential for this existed, it's why I was so worried about whether I'd fall out of maintenance. So it's finally happened. I got really freaked out.

I didn't have a lot of time, since I was headed to bed. I had to calm myself down and go to sleep, so I thought about the Bible verse that "Perfect Love casteth out fear" and I practiced the relaxation breathing that had been the lesson on SparkCoach just that day , and I thought about the 11th step and whether my weight management was God's will and praying to know that and if so, for power to carry it out.

I woke halfway during the night, just enough to remember, as this blog is titled, "God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind". Which it turns out is 2 Timothy 1:7. And I was so glad to feel that affirmation that this is what God wants for me. I'm not being vain or obsessed. I just need to take it one day at a time.

I'm so glad we have the custom tracking tools that are available now, that we don't just have to guess on what to eat or how much to work out. Something I've wondered about mentioning Is how I get so many fitness minutes from fitbit. I'm hesitant to call it misleading, but the fact is I work out about 30 minutes a day. But fitbit sometimes gives me a lot more. They have 4 grades of activity: sedentary, somewhat active, fairly active, and very. I don't get very active minutes without really trying, but the fairly active can come from shopping or carrying laundry (can but not always) and those automatically count as fitness in the spark tracker. So I don't really average 90 minutes in a day. I do 45 on strength days and 30 most other days. There's a way to make it more accurate, but it would be kind of a hassle. Just, you know, in case anyone is considering an intervention about my fitness minutes. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I don't worry about the fitbit minutes. It's about activity, and if you are getting that activity in, then you're burning those calories, whether or not you count them now or did before.

    Just keep tracking, and watching, if you need to make adjustments, that will show itself over time.
    1853 days ago
  • LINDY2013
    It sounds like you have made a breakthrough here! emoticon emoticon
    1853 days ago
    I'm glad you had a freak moment and manged to get your answer. All we can do is one day at a time.
    1853 days ago
  • POPSY190
    You are right about not planning in minute detail - it's just not sustainable, and takes over your whole life. You are doing well and there are bound to be wobbles on the way - thats life!
    1853 days ago
    Hey you caught yourself and that's what counts. You are making wonderful changes and I'm proud to know you.
    1853 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    Slow & steady is the way to go. You're doing great maintaining. emoticon
    1853 days ago
    I think we all tend to obssess over our weight loss or if in maintainance, keeping it that way. It's human nature. I try to take it one day at a time, but it's not always easy to practice. I have a good bit to lose so I'm constantly thinking of ways to increase my chances of losing faster as long as it's healthy. emoticon
    1853 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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