Friday, January 25, 2013
I don't know if it's the January blues, the weather, or the fact that I'm sick, but I'm stuck and I just don't seem to care. I tell myself it's just a passing phase, and I'll get thru it, but the little devil on my shoulder is winning these days. I know I don't need that bowl of smarties, but I ate it anyway cause I feel sick. I know I should only have one of those croissants from Costco (probably only half of one, really), but instead I eat 4 in a day. It's driving me crazy, and I wonder why I'm such a wuss.
I can't go to classes at the gym because I'm coughing so hard there's no way I'll make it thru a class. I know I need to get better before I push myself, but if I know that, why am I feeling so guilty? I go every weekday and almost every Saturday, so maybe I'm having withdrawal - lol I've missed 4 days and am pouting - seriously - what a baby!
I refuse to stand on the scale, because I don't want to know what it's going to say. I've been tracking my food, but I skip the things I know I shouldn't have eaten so that I don't go over my calorie range. It's so dumb because I'm lying to myself, and myself knows it!
I'm not feeling sorry for myself - I'm pissed off at myself. I know how to fix it - I've been at this long enough to know - I just don't feel like it. Is this normal? I am so close to Onederland (4 lbs off) and it just doesn't seem to matter today.
I told myself this morning, that I'll just do my best to eat right all day - when I'm at work it's much easier 'cause I've packed it all with me - and I parked farther away today so I had to walk a block to work. Every little bit counts, and I need to take it one day at a time, just like always.
I know I can do this - I've been doing it all along - I'm just having a hiccup.