Friday, January 25, 2013
My Race Rundown for the Year (in theory/tentative)
March 16: THE COLOR RUN!!! Winston Salem, NC
April 13: Run for Your Lives obstacle course/zombie-themed 5K in Nashville(?), TN
April 28: Diva's Half Marathon- Myrtle Beach, SC
May 19: Iron Girl Sprint Tri- Atlanta, GA
November 4th: City of Oaks FULL Marathon in Raleigh, NC
Can you tell which thing is not like the other? Can you tell which thing doesn't belong???
That's right, Sparkfriends. I'm doing a sprint Tri in May. I have to make sure I can procure a bike, but the rest of the equipment will come along in time.
I feel like I did when I got accepted into UNC Wilmington, when my husband asked me to marry him, when I got accepted to UNC Greensboro for graduate school (UNCW didn't have enough people to create a cohort for nursing ed- so I was out $60 and a lot of tears from thinking I just DIDN'T get in... but I digress) all kinda rolled into one. It's one of those decisions that you know is going to change your life forever. Like having a baby, or dying your hair black.
^^The fact that I liken these two life events indicates: 1) that I have dyed my hair black in the past and 2) I am so not ready for children no matter what my hormones tell me.
So I'm just going for it. I'm terrified, excited, a Nervous Nancy. (Nellie was my aunt's name. I don't like her. I'll never be a nervous Nellie. NEVER.) The nerves stem from doubt... self-doubt, fear of failing, fear of FALLING, fear of injury... and the fear that I'm going to look funny. Well not just funny- like ridiculous, what is she doing here, etc.
I googled "fat triathlete" and stumbled on a number of inspiring images and blogs, and a few that disheartened me. She's my goal weight- I'm emailing google. What is this GARBAGE? I'm switchin' to BING.
Anyone who has ever read my past blogs know that I struggle with self-image issues on the daily and that people are really really mean to me at times for no apparent reasons. At times my resolve is steadfast. I steel my guts with two fingers in the air (like I'm a true playerrr) and just go. Eff you. Get out of my way. Rawr rawr rawr. On the inside, I'm breaking and crumbling and bawling.
I've been told twice in the last 3 days that there's no way that *I* run. It is indeed cold- I own a jacket. Bad knees? Indeed- ACL and bilateral meniscus tears that never healed properly. Bad back? Fractures, actually. And scoliosis. Fast? Not really. 11-12 minute miles on a good day, 13-14 for an easy pace.
Well that's walking isn't it?
o__O You do it. Tell me if it feels like walking.
I started this journey at over 300 lbs and breathlessly walking for 30 seconds at a time. I've come a long way, and have some way to go. But I'm ready to stop being cordial and start getting angry.
But I'm so excited and nervous and SLEEPY (can ya tell) and will need all the support I can get. I'm going to ease myself into it but once I get momentum going, I know it's going to require two-a-days and scheduled sleep. I have ONE WEEK OF NIGHTSHIFT LEFT PRAISE BE TO THE HEAVENS AND ALL ITS INHABITANTS!!!! Normalcy and craziness will ensue. This adventure will require that I work out on WORK days (12-hour days). It will require getting up when my alarm goes off and going to bed without the TV on. It's going to require willpower and stamina and lots of powdered peanut butter.
Wish me luck.