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How Did It Come To This

Friday, January 25, 2013

How did it come to this ? Those are the words in my head as I try to sieve through where little by little chipped away at my progress.
Just a few months ago I was celebrating hitting the 50 pound lost mark, I felt good, I was never out of breath, life was simpler.
Then little by little my drive had gone away to exercise, little by little those wrong eating habits crept back into my life and indeed little by little the 50 pounds lost dropped to 40, 30, 20 & finally where I am now 15 under my original weight when I started on sparkpeople.
It's amazing how we have all these little victory which snow ball together to help us win battles, for instance in my case, as simple as being able to bend over while stood up to tie my shoe lace instead of being sat down or leaning on something & cocking my leg up to make it possible, or playing full games for my local soccer team & at the end thinking I could play another game as I'm not exhausted.
But little by little the small skirmishes are being lost & now battles are going the same way, I am just really struggling to get a grip on things & get back on track because I just don't seem to have a drive I did, where I could get up early workout, eat, prepare a meal later for work, then work & come home & sometimes hit the gym for a second time in a day.
The worse part is when you look in the mirror. . . . Week on week you look at yourself, week by week you see more of yourself disappear towards the person which you wish to become & it makes you feel awesome but the last month or so I have regressed to where week on week I'm seeing the old me come back & I suppose that kicks me in the teeth & makes me feel worse.then I do what I always did, turned to food which helped snow ball the problem once again & take months of hard work & reduce to almost nothing.
How did it come to this ? Because you let it !
That's the realisation which I have to take in, it's a bitter pill to swallow but it's true, we can all blame Our childhood, our work, our family for how we got big but eventually we have to realise, we have control over our own lives, what we eat, when we eat, if & when we exercise. All decisions which we make are our own & we have to stand by them, right or wrong.
I have had a big relapse on my program, & going around blaming everyone but me for it happening isn't the way to get round it, I need to keep looking in that mirror every morning & not be disgusted at how far I've fallen recently but look back to heights I soared but a couple months ago & try to hit that place again before trying to better even that part of my life.
So for one last time, how did it come to this ? Because you let it !
How's it going to get better ? Because your going to work hard for it !
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    So sorry to hear that you have regained pounds - last thing any of us wants. When this happens to me - as it has many times - I invariably panic and make it all worse. Then I berate myself for wasting all that time and effort. However - bit by bit I begin to see none of the effort is wasted and that new and better habits ARE being formed, however gradually, and I just need to hang in there and try again. A friend here said to me recently that I should have patience with my setbacks rather than turning them in major disasters. I'm working on this and hoping for the day when I no longer race frenetically towards the finish line, only to grind to a halt with the effort of it all. I need to learn to take it steadily and gain a more successful result.
    Best wishes to you with it all. Keep us posted emoticon
    1728 days ago
    I think the hardest thing for me was to accept that there is no quick fix, no diet that you can get enthusiastic about for a few months and then go back to "normal". I've proved countless times that is a direct route to failure and gaining back more than I lost originally.

    It has to be a change for life - enthusiasm will wane, there will be good days and bad days or even weeks. But I have to keep trying and consciously make decisions about what goes in my mouth every day and what I buy each week.

    I'm sorry you have regained some of your lost weight but I'm glad that you are fighting back instead of wallowing and gaining back the rest. Power to you. emoticon

    1728 days ago
    SNAP!!! And I just had a realisation! In the same way that we made those first baby steps towards weight loss and health, so we started to make the same baby steps towards weight gain and indolence! With similar results. One bad habit at a time. I have tried and tried to go full on into how I was when I was succeeding, and guess what, I failed miserably again. We need to exactly repeat our success from before, baby steps again, slow but sure progress, one little day at a time. One meal, one workout, not just try to jump in with both feet into the end result.
    1728 days ago
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