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Dancing through the ups and downs

Friday, January 25, 2013

A BLC teammate wondered aloud about losing some weight and then going into a self-sabotage phase, and as that's more or less been my story since jumping onto sparkpeople, I rambled on a bit about it.

I absolutely identify with her tale, because I've repeatedly gone through cycles of being good, and then coasting, or even going the wrong way for a bit. When I posted about the 2.4 lb loss the scale reported for the first week of the BLC (artifact, I'm sure...find out next week, I guess), I referred to it as "dancing", a pattern of 1 step forward, and a half step back that has characterized my whole SP trip.

In late September of 2011, I started at 205, and I dropped around 10 pounds between then and late November 2011. Then came Thanksgiving, and another weekend where I took a trip down to Chicago with friends (yearly tradition that had to be obeyed), and half that weight returned. I was down to 185 at the end of April 2012, but then came Craft Beer Week, and a trip home for my nephew's 1st birthday (huge party), and my own birthday (a couple nights out), and I gained back 7 pounds in May. You know, you could say I only lost 5 pounds from May 1 to January 16. But you could also just as accurately say I lost 12 pounds from June 1 to January 16. While other rebounds haven't been as dramatic, I have spent a lot of time re-losing the same weight that I'd already dumped once, and then got back together with. As with serial relationships, better to just get it over with!

With me, part of the relaxation phase is a sense that, "yay, I've accomplished something, let's celebrate!" Except the celebration isn't limited to just a day. Circumstances surely play a part, as with the multiple events in the month of May, but there's something more there. On occasion, I've realized that, yes, I'm sabotaging (half of) the good work that I've put in, but I really didn't care at the moment. Some of that, perversely, came from a new-found confidence, knowing that I now knew how to lose weight, in a way I hadn't put together before joining sparkpeople. Another piece is probably some latent yearning for the don't give a crap "food-lifestyle" I used to lead. It's just so much easier than paying attention to the details, y'know?

Look around this site, and obviously, I'm not alone in this bad habit of temporarily relapsing into the bad habits that brought us here in the first place. I'm of the opinion that everybody has different "relaxation phase" triggers, and it's absolutely worth putting in a little time to try and figure those out. After all, we joined up with the intent to turn things around, and having had some level of success, it (hello captain obvious!) doesn't make sense to go back to the old ways. And yet, we do just that, enough to moot a not insignificant portion of our good efforts.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JET150 1/27/2013 10:09AM

    It is hard to find other rewards when food has been your reward all your life, at least that is the case for me. And nobody wants to be the person at the celebration who draws attention to themselves by merely nibbling and sipping. And then there's stress. In the five months I was fully retired I lost about 4 pounds without even trying. In the year and a half since going back to work part-time I've gained 12. And it's not the birthday doughnuts and work potlucks. I can avoid those. It's me at home, at night. As you said, we think we've broken those habits to lose weight, but they never fully disappear I'm afraid.

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BEAUTY_WITHIN 1/27/2013 1:44AM

    Lots of us have the same problem. The best thing you can do is figure out WHY. It's something I have a really hard time with :) emoticon

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ANDY_54 1/26/2013 11:10PM

    Well, I keep losing and re-gaining the same 5 pounds. It happens whenever I get close to the 160 mark. Why? IDK and it's frustrating. I really don't like the BL show, but I did see Jillian (of course) yelling at someone last week and trying to make her understand that she (the contestant) is the one standing in her own way. I get that same feeling--hm, maybe I just need to step aside?

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CLPURNELL 1/25/2013 6:05PM

    We all do it! emoticon

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LW8843 1/25/2013 11:03AM

    I'm bad at this. I've lost 38lbs since June 2012 and now I'm dancing with 1-3lbs. I go down and up and down and up...grr.

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BOSS61 1/25/2013 7:34AM

    Life of a Sparky is filled with may too many causes (and excuses) to celebrate. Next time there is cause for celebration, float away on extra Sparky water too. Two days later you will be living in the bathroom (once the salt comes off), but then, viola!

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GARDENCHRIS 1/25/2013 7:18AM

    so true ... but hopefully we "learn" new ways of coping each time and get better at this lifestyle change.

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CAMAEL100 1/25/2013 5:12AM

    As i said on the forum, I totally relate and am getting frustrated at this stage. It gets more noticable as I get nearer to my goal. But I am hoping the BLC will get me close to my goal so I can stop this up and down. It can get me down at times but I try to stay positive and think of how far I have come!

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STEPH-KNEE 1/25/2013 4:08AM

    I can totally relate to what you are saying here. I have some very extreme cases under my belt, like lose 40 pounds a few times in my life to gain it all back. And relosing the same weight (for me at least) is never as fun as losing new weight. I think that is why I'm a little "blah" in this whole thing lately. I may have lost 2.4 pounds this week (we are twinsies! ;)) but it only got me back to 214.4 which is a number I've seen a 100 times in the last 3 months. I feel like if I can get to where I'm losing "new weight" it'll feel more real and like I am making progress.

That is so great you have really been thinking about things, trying to figure stuff out and fixing it is always a good thing. It sounds like the month of May is a fun month filled with awesomeness (your birthday), but it sounds like this year you are really aware of this and I know that you can make it through May unscathed! You can do this, you've been doing this and you are awesome! emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/25/2013 4:11:09 AM

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SISSIE21 1/25/2013 3:34AM

    Wow, so true. I actually relapsed and regained over 90 pounds! How did it happen? I stopped paying attention to what was important, my health. I 'celebrated' the weight loss with eating and used food to comfort during stressful times. This journey is now one to re-lose the weight and most important, learn from previous mistakes.
Good luck on your journey, I totally get it emoticon

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