Whose fault is this...it can't be mine!
Friday, January 25, 2013
We were all teenagers; with those incredible metabolism's with adults telling us that we should be thankful for our bodies but that someday it would "catch up" to us. Pfffh, we thought. Then all of a sudden we wake up at 35 and go "oh hell, it did catch me!"
I was never a person who cared much about what I ate, or paid attention to logging how often I exercised. I apparently was doing the correct balance of both because my weight was pretty much the same from the time I was fifteen until I was thirty. Then something changed and the domino effect started to take hold.
I was commuting further daily; sitting idle at a desk longer and definitely not spending enough time getting my heart rate elevated (unless you count the frustration in traffic).
So I did what many people do I blamed hormones, life, work, the mail carrier whomever! I wasn't my fault of course I wasn't doing anything "different" this is what I have always done. Wrong...I knew better of course but it is always easier to look outside of yourself when you are looking at blaming something.
The adage of when you are point at someone/thing remember that there are three fingers pointing right back at you is a powerful statement if you think about it.
I changed my mind; and four years ago I committed to making a lifestyle change and I was very successful at it for about a year and a half; then my life got in the way. The exercise nearly stopped and the weight came back.
Last year I was getting back on track and thought that I could see a light at the end of the tunnel, turned out to be a train. That train derailed me again. I suffered an accident that left me laid up for months; I was devastated emotionally. I just had gotten back on a bicycle after 18 years and had completed my first 30 mile group ride. Now I was back to resting; healing and recovering.
Here I am; in 2013 and tired of being sad and upset with the reflection that faces me daily. This isn't who I am, or who I can be and it is definitely not who I want to be for the rest of my life. I miss ME. I am committing to one group activity a month be it a 5k or group cycling event but one day at a time and hopefully for my reunion in July I will be happy with where I'm headed!
The Color Run is this weekend; rain or shine we will be out there getting our color on!