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Lessons I have learned part 2


Friday, January 25, 2013

Okie dokie, I'm back and feeling better. I'm still mulling things over, but this is what I know. I am still working on weeding through my CLUTTER and I know this is playing a part in where I am at the moment. With so much chaos surrounding me outside, it's hard to tame the chaos inside. I'm constantly distracted by the mess, even though I am making progress with it. Not only is it interfering with my emotional/mental inner work, it is not very conducive to my spiritual inner work.

This isn't an excuse...it is a very real problem that I am working hard on, going through a lifetime of memories and "stuff" I have "pack ratted" away. Letting go is VERY hard and I'm half tempted just to throw away everything I have had packed away. If I wasn't afraid of throwing away something important, I would just haul it all out to the trash. So I just soldier through.

As for more immediate and helpful lessons I have learned from experimenting: I discovered that even though 100% whole wheat bread has more calories than my 100% wheat sandwich thins, they are denser, fill me up better and last longer than the thins.

I have learned that usually no matter what I have for breakfast, I'm hungry within an hour or two. I tried something different this week. I had oj, southwestern eggbeaters, a morningstar prime griller patty and two pieces of whole wheat toast. I felt satisfied and didn't start to feel hungry until just before lunch. Another thing that seemed to help was having some tea as I work in the morning. It keeps me feeling full longer.

I have committed myself to other little things in my quest to get on my feet again. When making my pb&j sandwiches, I won't take anymore extra tastes of peanut butter as I am making and after my sandwich is made. Oh! And no more spoonfuls of peanut butter and honey, or syrup or nutella at night when I have the mega munchies!

One good thing about the tea is I am getting more water. I drink a lot of water, but I know I fall short at times.

I am going to make the "instant" oatmeal recipe in the Spark People cookbook so I can have a more nutritious oatmeal.

This has taken me forever to write tonight. I have been at this for a couple of hours. I have admitted to a lot tonight. Stuff that I have never admitted to anyone. Perhaps I feel I need to be more honest here amongst my family. Maybe I need to do this to take responsibility "Out Loud" as it were. *Shrugs* I don't know...

What I do know is that it is past my bedtime, I'm feeling a wee bit better and not as far down in the abyss. I saw a rainbow as I arrived home tonight and I took that as a positive, hopeful sign. Of course any day it rains, I feel immeasurably better.

Good night and sweet sleep.

Ame
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
GOLFLADY11 1/25/2013 1:35AM

    Sweet dreams to you. Good for you for owning up to things!!! Don't we all have issues like that? I'm proud of you and glad you're making progress. Aren't we all just a work in progresss. We are staying in our winter digs but once I get home it will be time to face the music. Hope I can be as stalwart as you.!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon Wishing you lots more rainbows!!

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SAKS20111 1/25/2013 12:30AM

    one item at a time! :-)

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ZRIE014 1/25/2013 12:26AM

  it is starting to drizzle here in san diego. have a great sleep emoticon

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