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****Misses McMunch-A-Lots and the chica in the mirror****WITH PICS***


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Thursday, January 24, 2013

Fair warning: most of my blog titles make no sense and I like it that way! emoticon I have been munching all freakin day. It is like all day i have been one level above hunger but one level below satisfied. Basically, I can feel my stomach operating and I have been throwing things down the chute so I don't have to listen to or feel what is going on down there. I don't know why I can't feel satisfied lately? I understand part of this journey is being okay with being hungry sometimes. Today I wasn't feeling that. I think it is my inner cavewoman realizing that it is 4 degrees in Omaha today and I have much less padding than I had before and she is trying to keep me alive! Either that or my inner fat girl is throwing a tantrum. I don't know but I don't have many calories left for dinner unless I go crazy in my evening workout. Did I mention it was 4 degrees? That is cuddling weather not sweating weather. Oh well, guess I will have to cuddle AFTER P90X.

I was at Zumba with my sister yesterday. In our class, there are mirrors on each wall of the room. I hated that damn room when I was 270 lbs. I thought they were circus mirrors because there was no way I could possibly be as big as the image that was dancing in front of them. Yesterday was different. I began to wonder if they replaced the Fun House mirrors with different ones because there was no way the chica staring back at me with the gangly arms was me! I think it was the first time in a long time that I have taken in how much I have changed. My forearms were so slender that they actually looked lanky. I appeared narrow. I didn't look like ME. I looked like the person I always thought I was but could never find.

I have been heavy for so long.

I knew that at a young age. But at some point I embraced my thickness, I believe I was 14 years old. But what I thought was curviness was the beginning of an uphill battle. Here I was my senior year of high school:


You see, I didn't know I had a problem at that point because I was very popular at school. The cool kids and the nerds were my friend (I was actually a nerd - president of National Honor Society, Editor-in-Chief of the newspaper, just in cool clothes) and I had a steady boyfriend all the way through school and other boys hit on me as well. I didn't know I was obese! Then May of 2012 came around and my sister took this picture of me.



I was shocked! That was not the ME that I seen in the mirror everyday. It was like a kick in the gut. Part of me was angered that no one brought my weight to my attention. But why would they? I put on the front that I was so confident and happy with my looks, why would anyone argue that? I IMMEDIATELY changed the way I lived. And while I was changing internally, emotionally, mentally, etc, etc, it took some time for the changes in my physique and appearance to take ahold. But I didn't let that stop me.


Two weeks in, only 1 lb down but feeling better already.


Seven weeks in and I am down about 13 pounds. It was at this time that I decided I would run a 5k a month to keep myself motivated. There isn't a ton of change on the scale but I ran most of this race and finished at 37 minutes! Super proud and definitely couldn't do that before.


My engagement photos taken August 25th, three months in. I am down25 pounds from my highest weight. I didn't feel pretty on this day. I wanted results faster. I wasn't seeing the changes and was losing hope. But I told myself that it had to get better if I continued to put the work in.


A little over one month separates this picture from the previous. In that month that I stayed committed and pushed harder, the weight began to melt off. To me, I look at these two pictures and it looks like twenty pounds separates them. It doesn't. The two pictures are a difference of 8 lbs. Can you believe that??? I can't but believe me, I take very detailed records! That just goes to show that each pound is special and each pound makes a difference, so respect and appreciate each pound because it is getting you somewhere.

And today, I don't recognize myself. I have changed from a person who hated nature in every shape and facet to a person who is scratching at the door waiting to get outside. I get a high from beating my body to exhaustion and working hard. Most days, I look like this after a workout:



and THAT means I had a good time! I have cheekbones, a jaw line, my nose is a different shape, I have dimples (I had them before but my fat filled them up like botox), my collar bones are defined. This is me now:



I respect this girl. I am proud of this girl. And although I don't quite know who she is yet, I am looking forward to the woman she is becoming.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
AMANDACOETZER 1/25/2013 1:07PM

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GOOSIEMOON 1/25/2013 1:05PM

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LIVELYGIRL2 1/25/2013 11:40AM

  I really enjoyed reading and seeing your blog.

As many of us say, it's not all about numbers, but you do are growing prettier and prettier, that must be satisfying!!!!

It must be rewarding an a blessing to watch yourself be transformed, and I hear a reoccurring theme, a these fringe benefits, NSV .

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CLAYARTIST 1/25/2013 11:39AM

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NILLAPEPSI 1/25/2013 11:20AM

    You are beautiful!!! emoticon

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FIT4MEIN2013 1/25/2013 11:18AM

    Wonderful blog, not because of the beautiful pictures, but because of who you are becoming.

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STSCOTT11 1/25/2013 11:15AM

    Looking GREAT!
I think your story really is saying ALOT. Alot of people blame their weight on lack of love and all kinds of things. YOUR LIVING PROOF that love is for those who have love for themselves, love to share and open for love. THAT IS SIMPLY WISDOM!
Very inspiring.
4 degrees??!! ...and here I am complaining its 18 here in Maryland. lol
...and that's a beautiful picture of you and man (husband)...holding hands.

Comment edited on: 1/25/2013 11:18:26 AM

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MRSBLAK27 1/25/2013 11:08AM

  Awesome Story of how far you've come, can't wait to see the end results I know that it will be nothing short of AWESOME

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L1ZB3TH354 1/25/2013 10:33AM

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NETTYDAWG 1/25/2013 10:32AM

    You look amazing. Congratulations on the transformation and look forward to learning about the new person you are.

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SPARKLISE 1/25/2013 9:46AM

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DJSHIP46 1/25/2013 9:46AM

    You are magnificent!!! Hang in there amazing lady :)

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ROCKYCPA 1/25/2013 9:09AM

    Thanks for sharing! !

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TANYA602 1/25/2013 9:08AM

    Phenomenal! What a true picture of inspiration, and you are beautiful not only on the outside, but your inner strength is stunning!

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FROMNDTOGA 1/25/2013 9:05AM

    Great blog - and inspiring story.
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TERMITEMOM 1/25/2013 9:01AM

    You look FABULOUS! Your blog is so encouraging! emoticon

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MIMIDOT 1/25/2013 8:50AM

    You are beautiful! Great job! You sound so happy. Thank you for sharing.
Spark on!!!!

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CICELY360 1/25/2013 8:48AM

  good blog

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WALLINMW 1/25/2013 8:46AM

  Amazing!

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MBEEMOM 1/25/2013 8:45AM

    You look wonderful and all of your hard work is paying off...especially when YOU are the one noticing the change. Congratulations and keep up the good work!

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JANEMARIE77 1/25/2013 8:43AM

    awesome blog thanks for sharing you look wonderful Its neat that weight loss and sparks people can change everything body mind and soul

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ALICIALYNNE 1/25/2013 8:39AM

    Keep on rockin' it!

And you look so great with your fiance!

I wish I had taken more pictures over the last year. I was too scared of what I would see, and now I can't do the comparison shots. I'm doing them now so that when I will at least have SOMETHING to compare them to.

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MOMMY445 1/25/2013 8:37AM

    you are amazing! have a wonderful day! you can do this! you are worth it!

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HEARTS116 1/25/2013 8:37AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LRSILVER 1/25/2013 7:09AM

    You look amazing. Keep it up. Woo hoo.

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GRUMBLEGIRL 1/25/2013 7:00AM

    Good for you. What a transformation. Congrats!!

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SASSYLJB 1/25/2013 6:57AM

    Finding the new you is part of the fun, I am working on that as well, and it is a great journey!

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PENOWOK 1/25/2013 6:47AM

    Wonderful (and fast) transformation!! WE are proud of you, too!!Stay on it, honey...You are beautiful in and out!!

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KATHIC2 1/25/2013 6:46AM

  Awesome!

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SHERYLDS 1/25/2013 6:02AM

    you look AMAZING. emoticon


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TRYINGHARD54 1/25/2013 5:48AM

    you look fantasic !! way to goooooooooooooo

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NCSUE0514 1/25/2013 4:49AM

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MERRY_XMAS 1/25/2013 4:46AM

    What a journey... Thank you so much for sharing!
You look better every day!
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WENDYSPARKS 1/25/2013 4:24AM

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EVER-HOPEFUL 1/25/2013 3:55AM

    respect and you also have alot to be proud of.thanks for shareing.keep on keeping on emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LAHUDSONCHEF 1/25/2013 12:16AM

    Love your photo history! Keep it up...healthy is NOT an illusion and the goal is in sight.

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MJREIMERS 1/24/2013 11:51PM

    emoticon and emoticon Without sounding like your mom, although I'm probably old enough to be, I'm so proud of you!! You have improved your lifestyle and your health immensely! You and Derrell will have many wonderful years together!! emoticon

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REDVELVET21 1/24/2013 10:53PM

    emoticon So proud of you, how far you have come, for your desire to continue to change and your funny but inspiring blogs! Keep up the good work!!!

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MY9STONEJOURNEY 1/24/2013 10:50PM

    Again I say you are amazing!!!! Thank you for being YOU my friend!!

emoticon Steph

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CRANRANA 1/24/2013 10:44PM

  Wowee girl! You really have transformed yourself. Always pretty but sooo much happier. You`re glowing!

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PURPLE180 1/24/2013 10:28PM

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MAMADWARF 1/24/2013 9:40PM

    Love this! Brava! Well done!

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CELLISTA1 1/24/2013 9:02PM

    What a great blog! You are gorgeous!

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DONNA5281 1/24/2013 8:38PM

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DALID414 1/24/2013 8:12PM

    You'll get to love her soon enough.

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MAKINGITCOUNT91 1/24/2013 7:46PM

    You are seriously looking AMAZING girl!!! Great job!!! xx

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BOGUSANNIE 1/24/2013 7:39PM

    GREAT blog!!! Vy motivating!!! You RAWK!!!!


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KTTAYLOR21 1/24/2013 7:38PM

    You are motivating and inspiring me!! Thanks for sharing. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/24/2013 7:40:09 PM

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COURAGETOMOVE 1/24/2013 7:35PM

    Way to go!!! emoticon

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DEBPRE16 1/24/2013 7:33PM

    You are looking great!

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