I am really annoyed with myself. I can't stand the way I look. I am totally unhappy, and I'm too damn lazy to do anything about it.

I don't know where to get any motivation. The people around me try to help me out but it just doesn't seem to be helping me at all. And I know they are trying but I just can't seem to get my head around actually doing anything to help myself.

It's my own fault.

I want to be different but it's hard. I need help. I need motivation. I need a new mind set. Where do I get one? How do I go about training. My mind to not be so lazy?

On the up side. I am getting a better mobile phone that will help me to better keep track of my food while I am out and about. I hope. I will get the app that should help me out a little bit. I just don't know where to go. I know I can do this. And. I am not sure what is holding me back.

Maybe a random, private rant in my journal will help me to get over this hump. I just don't know what to do. I will try that and let you know how it works out if I remember too!