Thursday, January 24, 2013
I was going to rewrite my earlier blog...with a few parts of it and then write out how the day was getting turned around. But, just as I started smiling and thinking of what I could write it all started over again. One sentence was enough to set it all in motion back to derailment.
All I can come back to is this... I'm started to feel a lot of feelings that make me no longer want to be where I am, that I've had enough of the people around me and it's comes with the deep painful feelings, fear, loneliness, hurt, anger...just a few minutes ago I was so happy...now I'm back in tears. Feelings I hate because they involve that horrible D-word. The one that should never be uttered unless you really, truly want that and not because you feel heart broken.
The excuse for all this behavior? "I'm sorry, I don't feel good." Not feeling good emotionally or physically doesn't erase the things that are said. Those burn deep down into people and scar.