Thursday, January 24, 2013
When I said exhausted, weary, and tired, I meant it. When they called off school, I went back to sleep and just woke up about half an hour ago. My sc ale is promising a happy Feb first reading. LOL I am still a bit weary but not so TIRED any more. The kids were fine yesterday - the weary and exhaustedness were from just feeling co ld all day for several days and the upset over this young girl - that I didn't even know - but that so affected me. I remember being about her age (maybe youn ger since I think I was only 10) and thinking about doing the same thing - SERIOUSLY thinking to the point I talked with the rescue squad about how to do it - remember in 1959 nobody thought kids got depressed or thought seriously about suicide - at least not sweet little girls with good parents and a happy home - BUT I DID and asked about different ways to find the most effective without HURTING too much. I even remember getting a serious answer - because of course I wouldn't DO such a thing - telling me to slit lengthwise so I could slit BOTH wrists since crosswise would cut tendons so I couldn't cut the second one.
This is getting morbid - so I will write more later.