Or perhaps it's really not as deep
As I've been led to think
Am I trying much too hard?
Of course! I've been too close to see
The answer's right in front of me
Right in front of me
It's simple really, very clear
Like music drifting in the air
Invisible, but everywhere
Just because I cannot see it
Doesn't mean I can't believe it
"Jack's Obsession" by Danny Elfman
I finally buckled down and made myself walk a mile this morning. This song came up on my playlist shortly after I started. So here I am on a cool but not frigid morning with the sky turning a beautiful blue! My feet may have been traveling 3 mph but my mind was soaring at a million!
Just then I was struck by these lyrics and my thoughts took a solid direction. I am not my weight. I am not my clothing size. I am not my financial status. These things fluctuate all the time. (Although recently all 3 have been headed generally downward...
So what AM I? Creative, craftsperson, mom, daughter, friend. These things are constant. These things matter. If it wasn't for a need for shelter, electricity, hot water, food, clothes, I wouldn't even care about the financial status thing (very much).
In this brief moment of clarity, I realized I really have been putting my energy into having a lack of instead of into having a surplus. I am now motivated to work on changing my thinking from "what if the power is cut off" to "It's okay. I have enough". Fear-based thinking really puts energy into what you fear and draws it to you like a magnet. My goal now is to let go of my fear of lack and put that energy into drawing the surplus that I deserve to me.
Rather than "I can do this", this time I prefer "It is done."
As I was finishing this up, the doctor's office called about my son's blood work from his physical on Monday. Apparently he needs to eat more vegetables!
I told her that I'd have him call back after school so she can tell him because he won't listen to me about that one!