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Thursday Assortment

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Today in the Markets

Today in the markets helium was up; feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. The market for raisins dried up. Coca-cola fizzled. Balloon prices were inflated, & ScotTissue reached a new bottom.
TV town populations
* The Andy Griffith Show’s Mayberry: pop. 1,800.
* Dawson’s Creek’s Capeside (Massachusetts): pop. 35,000.
* SpongeBob SquarePants’s Bikini Bottom: pop. 50,000.
* Twin Peaks: pop. 51,201. Creator David Lynch wanted it to be 5,120, but ABC feared that urban viewers would be turned off by such a small town, so they made him add in the extra digit.

What the $%&*? Jerry Springer producers bleep out non-curse words to make guests seem more interesting.
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