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    CYNDERROSE   18,051
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Reinventing Cyn

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

2012 was the year of hell for me.

My husband asked for a divorce in March, and after months of tension and tenderness we finally separated in December. I moved into a small apartment with the kids, he moved in with his ho-bag of a girlfriend (who he kept telling me was just a friend through everything until , surprise, he's moving in with her)

He still has the kids a few nights a week, but I am the main parent.

Over the last 9 months I didn't give a crap about working out and eating healthy. Fastfood and ice cream were my friends. My weight crept up to 261 lbs, an all time high.

I signed up for the local Dirty Girl Mud run in October, hoping that would motivate me to do some training, but I came down with shingles a month before, and it took until the week of the race to feel like doing anything. But I did push through with my friends and finished the race.

It's been hard not having my husband around. He has been my best friend for 16 years, and we celebrated our 10th anniversary while we were going through all the drama of last year.

I would log into Spark People on occasion to spin the wheel and to check up on spark friends, but I never had much motivation to post anything.

I've decided I'm done crying over my soon to be ex(divorce isn't filed yet)
I'm going to make 2013 my year.
I didn't start this as a New Years Resolution, because Resolutions always fail.
I started l on the 13th, ten days ago, by cutting out all wheat and grains, and I feel better. I fell better than better. My depression has done a 180 off of the diet change alone.

Now I'm working on going full Paleo, I am cutting down on dairy, and will cut it out, and with the opening of the new healthy foods store in town, I can see it being easier to go with (mostly) grass-fed meat and dairy and organic produce.

I even caught myself doing push-ups earlier today, for no reason other than because I wanted to.

This is my year to find out who I am as a single mother, and my journey to get ready to get back in the dating game.

I'm back baby!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 4/3/2013 12:18PM

    Greetings from the trenches of a fellow single mom - 13 yrs out for me, but unfortunately divorce is the gift that just "keeps on giving"!
We're here to support each other, so hang in there!
(how stupid do these men think we are? I heard the same "she's-just-a-good-friend" speech too... & now of course she's the official Wicked Stepmother!)
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ATTACKFATCAT 1/24/2013 11:44PM

    I am SO glad you are back! This community is great and you can always find positive support or someone who's going through the same thing you are dealing with.

It's amazing how even small changes in our diets can help with our mood. I know it does for me. Sometimes making changes in chunks like that helps us stick with our plans rather than try to do it all at once, get overwhelmed, and throw our hands up in despair.

I'm sorry you had such a rough year. I've experienced the bombshell divorce speech, the "she's just a friend" brush-off, and the depression and pain from picking up the pieces. It's been almost two years since my divorce was final and I tell you it CAN be done. You can come away from it a stronger, happier person. I managed to get a degree, keep off almost 50 pounds of weight loss, get a new job, try out dating, and eventually a long-term relationship. I have my "bad days" but they are nothing compared to what I once went through.

Just make sure that you learn to love yourself through all of this and figure out who you are and what you want out of life. Love yourself no matter the struggles or the slips you may endure. Because you are worth it. emoticon



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AHTRAP 1/24/2013 9:44PM

    Welcome to the rest of your life, eh? Good luck!

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SHRINKING_SARA 1/24/2013 10:51AM

    emoticon emoticon

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