insane basketball game
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
I've been falling off the wagon, self sabotaging, but this is not a blog about falling, it's about jumping back as soon as possible. I want to get back in a healthy groove.
As I've been observing the different parts of my mind at work, I've noticed there are 3 main players: the rebel, judge and victim. And it's like watching an insane basketball game, when the ball is passed between players, and whoever has the ball is the focus of my attention. The victim is the star player, and wants to be right, wants to say: I told you so, I can't win, the odds are against me, I'm hopeless and helpless. The victim, in order to be right, passes the ball to the rebel, who sabotages my weight loss efforts with thoughts of deprivation, cravings, and overeating. The rebel passes to the judge, who blames the rebel and then the victim, and the victim dunks the ball and gets the so-called satisfaction of being right.
I want lower the volume on the cast of characters; don't believe their points of view; lower the volume; tame my mind, and get back to thinking clearly. It's hard when the game gets going it has it's own momentum. I have to blow the whistle and send the team to the showers.
I start by observing that this is going on. Then focusing my attention on what's real and physical, and not mental. (more to come)
Going to Spin class after work today.
Minutes this week, running total:
In calorie range: