Wednesday, January 23, 2013
I can't stand goals. Maybe it's just me and some warped part of my personality, but whenever I've set a goal for myself--whether weight-related or for any other aspect of my life--I fall short of meeting that goal. That failure sets me up for depression and, usually, giving up completely. I can be making great progress in an area I'm trying to improve, then I set a goal for myself. I don't meet that goal (ALWAYS happens), and I see my efforts as a failure. It doesn't matter how well I've done so far, or how committed I am or how realistic my goals are. But this time will be different. I haven't actually set a goal for myself this time on my weight loss journey. EXCEPT for last month. I decided that it was time to step up my weight loss a little to start this year off right. I'd already lost 89 lb. and was making steady progress--very slow, but steady. My metabolism is really screwed up after a lifetime of yo-yo dieting, so really good progress for me is 1/2 lb. a week. But I thought if I went on a liquid protein diet for 6 weeks, it would step up the pace a bit and help me stay motivated to stick it out for the long haul (I still have well over 100 lb. more to lose to get to a 'normal' weight). So I started on the liquid 3 weeks ago, hoping for a 2-lb. weekly loss during those 6 weeks. The goal I set for myself was to lose 100 lb. total by Valentine's Day. I'd already lost 89 lb. and had just 11 lb. to go, so that seemed perfectly do-able. And yet, here I am halfway into my liquid diet and I still have 8 lb. to go. Even on 800 calories of liquid protein a day (AND NOTHING ELSE) and exercising faithfully every day, it looks like I'll fall short of that goal. I don't have any explanati9on for it except that it's typical of what happens whenever I set a goal for myself. Losing 11 lb. in 6 weeks sounds like a very rational goal to me--especially while taking in only 800 liquid calories a day. But, as I said, my metabolism is screwed up. I'm feeling frustrated that I am not losing more--only 3 lb. in 3 weeks, but I won't let it get me down! I can't afford to lose my momentum after coming this far.
So I'll hang onto the successes and forget about that 'goal'--my only REAL goal is getting healthy, continuing to lose weight and gain fitness by making the lifestyle changes needed to achieve that healthy lifestyle. And I'm doing that. Last night I was caller at our weekly bingo game. I was able to wear a new top in size XL--first time in over 15 years I've been in that size! And several people told me how good I looked and they were interested in how much I've lost so far (92 lb. as of today) and how I did it. I absolutely LOVE telling people I did it with the help of SparkPeople and all the wonderful friends there who keep me going. And I've referred several friends and acquaintances to SP too! Sharing my success and spreading the Spark is just as satisfying as losing weight myself. So I won't be setting any goals again any time soon. But I WILL be continuing on my journey, racking up the losses 1/2 lb. at a time if necessary. And while I may not reach 100 lb. lost by Valentine's Day, I WILL reach it--one day soon. And you will definitely hear about it when I do!! Thanks for being there in the meantime.