Wednesday, January 23, 2013
So, this morning I had to go to the doctor for just a regular check-up. I have been SO worried about this day since I made the appointment. What if my labs were bad, what if she didn't think I was healthy enough, what if I hadn't lost enough weight? What if, what if, what if??? Now, some of the things I was thinking are absolutely ridiculous!!! For one, I have NEVER seen this doctor before!!! So she can't be upset with my progress. Secondly, deep down I know that I am doing great. So why do I stress myself out and second guess everything that I do? Heck if I know, lol, but I do it ALL the time.
Stress used to be a word that I didn't even worry about because I handled things so well I was never stressed. After the strokes I couldn't handle stress, little things made my blood pressure go up, my heart beat faster and my head would be spinning constantly. It was a horrible horrible feeling. I have gotten a bit better with time, but I still worry and obsess alot.
Back when my husband and I got together things were not great between him and his ex and his ex and myself. I can not even begin to describe how things were back then. With alot of time and effort of all of our parts we are now finally at a very comfortable stage in our lives with each other. Kelly (his ex) and I talk/text nearly everyday. We follow each others IG accounts and comment on each other's photos. If anyone would have asked me a few years ago if I would ever be at this point I would have laughed at them, lol. Now, it's comfortable, I value her thoughts and ideas and advice. She is a part of our family, and not just because her and Kevin have children together. We have to learn to put the past behind us and grow from it and from the mistakes that we've made.
It is the same way with food and weight loss. We are ALL going to have bad days. We are all going to have days where we cheat with our diet, feel fat and unworthy, ugly and so on. What we have to remember is that this instance DO NOT define who we are, they do not make us and we can not let them break us!! I refuse to!!! I am one of those people who weighs myself every morning and then again before I go to bed at night. I get upset when the scale doesn't move and I stress and obsess over it and then I move on. Are my clothes fitting differently? Do I feel healthy? Have I slacked off on what I was doing? I have to remind myself that even though that scale didn't move, I have to go shopping again because once again my clothes are to big. SO even though I stress over the scale I use it as a motivational tool to keep me on track and to keep me moving in the right direction.
I have learned that cutting stress out of my life makes me feel better, younger, and more alive. Not just the stress in my personal life, but also just everyday stress. Some stress can be good for us, that is how we grow and continue to push and motivate ourselves. Just remember to not let it own you in a bad possessive sort of way. Keep the stress in check!!