Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Since Thanksgiving just two months ago, I have been struggling to eat healthy and exercise more again. Before that, I had been consistently losing weight each week and feeling better about myself eating the South Beach Lifestyle way and exercising more For Thanksgiving my family and I went to a nice Restaurant for a big and delicious turkey dinner and I stuffed myself to the point where I felt uncomfortable. At that dinner once again my dil told me how much better and thinner I looked. Well, maybe I got smug and just thought without much effort or hard work on my part and even with a little food cheating I would continue to lose weight. Well, as you all know just wanting and wishing it doesn't make it happen for us. I swear, from that day on I slowly lost my Spark and Healthy Focus and started eating basically what I wanted to again with not much thought to the consequences of my unhealthy choices. Plus I just about stopped exercising always coming up with excuses for myself or thinking I will do that later and then later never happened. I was in a downward spiral screaming inside for me to get a grip and get out of this very dark "hole" of abuse I was doing to my body.
It's been long two months with no weight loss and almost too afraid to WI and see what damage I had done to myself with my old unhealthy habits sneaking back in again. I didn't want to know how much weight I was gaining and didn't want to know what the scale said as was actually ashamed of myself and didn't want to post my weight gain in my Team's Weight Loss Challenges anymore. I was in total denial of the harm I was doing to myself both mentally and physically by not being accountable to myself nor to those friends who cared about me. Finally, a few good friends reached out to me and wondered if they could help and just knowing others did care about my well being touched me deeply. I'm usually the strong one for others but this time I needed someone myself to lean on for help and support--and they were there for me.
This week I've been re-reading articles and the South Beach Book again as this plan worked the best for me. It's eating good food with very little processed food on it. When I was on South Beach my sugar and starch cravings were almost non-existent. My Dr. was thrilled with my success and my lab work results were better than ever and my weight hadn't been this low in almost 15 years. Well, this morning, I decided it was high time to get back on the scale to find how just how much weight I had gained. I found out how quickly it is to re-gain 10 pounds and I honestly can't say I was shocked as I expected it to be about that. It's amazing how hard it is to lose 10 pounds but so easy to gain them right back. I wasn't a bit depressed to see how my unhealthy bad habits had affected me as I knew I was finally motivated again to do what I know works well for me, the South Beach Plan and exercising more. I know it will take time to re-lose the pounds but I know I'm ready to do what it takes to make that Happen and move forward again.
This Week I've been making getting Healthy and working to a Happy Weight a top priority again. . .after all no one can do this for us but we for ourselves. I am working on some new doable Goals to achieve. I'm glad to be honest and accountable for my weight gain and to move forward again. My pants were getting tight when they had been loose on me just 2 months ago. If it wasn't for those of you who noticed and cared I'm not sure when it would have hit me in the face like it did. . .but, I know eventually I would have come to the same conclusion myself. As I haven't worked hard for almost 3 years to lose weight only to regain it all back in a short period of time. In some ways I feel we're all a Work in Progress and no one is perfect and I've never even dared think I am in any way. I've even wondered if I hide behind my fat as I've never been one who likes to be the Center of Attention and maybe this is my way to protect myself from being hurt again.
If you have a friend who is struggling with food choices or a healthy lifestyle tell him/her kindly that you care about them and do support them. It's amazing how a caring friend can give us a wake up call about ourselves. Thank you all from the bottom of my Heart as I couldn't go on and do well without all of your encouragement, support and God's Strength.