200,000-249,999 SparkPoints 210,021

Sometimes I Feel Insecure

Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Today is day 26 of my current streak! (Previous streaks; 290 days and 13 days.)

There are only 55 days until the first day of Spring! I have a certain t shirt that I am hoping to fit into by then. Its hanging on the outside of my closet door, so I see it every day to remind me to keep working hard.

On February first, I'm going to have hubby take front and side pictures of me. I'm pretty nervous about that, because to be honest, I don't think there will be much difference since my last set of front and side photos were taken last August. I haven't weighed myself since September 3rd, but I just don't feel like I've lost much weight since then.

The reason I don't weigh myself is that I know my weakness, and that weakness is this; if I weigh myself and have a bad result, I know I will be tempted to comfort myself with food. If I weigh myself and have a good result, I'd be tempted to reward myself with food. This has always been the way I've reacted to the scale in the past, and although I'd like to think that I'm stronger now and would NOT turn to food...well, I just don't want to tempt fate! So for me, staying off the scale and just looking for NSV's (Non-Scale Victories) seems to work best.

I am working so hard to lose this weight. I focus every day on eating as healthy as I possibly can. I've almost completely eliminated processed foods from my daily diet. I eat between 1200 and 1500 calories a day. I workout, and I try to do different things. I still do my DDP Yoga every day, but recently I traded in my cardio kickboxing workout for Zumba instead. I do all the little things, like parking further away when I go shopping, and dancing while I do housework. But I just don't feel like I've lost much weight since September.

My body has firmed up in some areas, though. I have (slightly) visible calf muscles. My thighs, buns and waist are firmer. And I definitely have become stronger, more flexible and more energetic. I feel healthier than I have in years!

But I'm also feeling insecure. When I post my new front and side pictures on February first, will people be let down that I'm not thin yet? And when I weigh myself on March first, what will people think of me if I haven't lost much weight since my September weigh in?

Since I started my journey last March, I've shared it here in my blogs and I've gotten so much support and encouragement, and it has meant the world to me. So I know I don't HAVE to post pictures or weigh in results....but I want to. Good or bad, I want to be honest.

If I don't like the way I look in my upcoming February 1st pictures, or what the results of my March 1st weigh in will be, I will be disappointed. But I won't be disappointed in MYSELF, because I can honestly say that I have been doing my best. And with God's help, I will keep on trying, and trying, and trying. I know I will reach my goal eventually, as long as I never give up on myself.

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I truly hope and pray that you never worry a single minute about what anyone here thinks about you. First and foremost, as you have always done, do this for yourself. THEN...know that we all love and support you unconditionally. The blessing of unconditional love is that you don't have to prove anything to us. You don't have to weigh a certain number, or lose a certain number of pounds, or look a certain way in a photograph. We will love you no matter what. With that kind of support, you are free to go and be the best Pixie you can be, knowing we are all behind you and around you...to help you celebrate, to help pick you up...whatever you need, whenever you need it.

    Having said that, I know how much work you have put into reaching your goals, and I want you in that smaller t-shirt as much as you want to be in it! Sometimes the initial weight loss is big and really noticeable...but the closer we get to our goals, the slower it goes and the less dramatic things seem. But your health and the way you feel on the inside, those things we can't see and which no scale can measure, are what really counts. I KNOW your progress is showing up in those areas!
    emoticon emoticon
    1886 days ago
    Remember, the NSVs really tell the story! Don't be afraid - just stay motivated!
    1886 days ago
    I understand the insecurity, but you shared the countless things you're doing to be healthy and get in shape--so what if it doesn't necessarily show up on a scale or in a picture? YOU know you're on the right path, as do those close to you. Those NSV's are so crucial when you feel like you're getting nowhere.

    emoticon emoticon
    1886 days ago
    Oh Pix, you don't need to feel insecure. Just think of how you're doing this for you, and you don't have to worry about what anyone else would think! Noone has any idea really of all you've done to get where you are. I can't begin to imagine all the hard work you've put into your work-outs, your eating healthy, etc. But, I have some idea! ha! More power to you!

    emoticon to you too, Karen
    1886 days ago
    'You've gotta keep on doing what you know is right!'

    Can't help it, had to go find this song for you!
    1886 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/23/2013 10:38:01 AM
    What will we think of you? That you are an inspiration, and that's no matter what the pictures look like or the scale says. Just keep on trudging (or DPP-ing, or Zumba-ing ...along, and you will see results.
    1886 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    You've changed your lifestyle! You are already a winner! Don't let the scale or your pictures determine your success! emoticon
    1886 days ago
    There's no need to feel insecure. Surely you know we wouldn't judge you if you don't look quite as slim or weigh quite as little as 'expected'?! We're all in this together. We each have our own struggles. True, some people lose weight faster than others, but we know that's only a little bit of the Story.

    You'll be fine. Don't worry. Just keep making the healthy choices - that is enough.

    Best wishes
    1886 days ago
  • STODD251
    Whether it is readily evident in pictures or not, you and anyone who has been following your blogs knows that you have made changes in your lifestyle for the better. You are stronger and healthier and in the end that is more important than just the number on the scale. If you're already noticing the changes in your body, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. You're on the right track. emoticon emoticon
    1886 days ago
    Pixie, what you are doing is so much more important than any number on the scale! You are making amazing lifestyle changes for all the right reasons. The scale is one measure but it's so great that you realize that it holds a negative power over you. You are amazing!
    1886 days ago
    I know you will want results but think of how strong you are inside mentally and physically. Even if there is no change visible, you know it is happening and I can tell you that your friends here will NOT be dissapointed cos we know how hard you work, how much dedication you put into this and how fickle our bodies can be. lol
    HUGS and you are doing great!
    1886 days ago
    I know we all want to see the the proof either with inches, pounds, or other obvious changes. But you have already stated that you have changed in many ways. You are stronger. You are leaner. You have more stamina. That is the proof right there. You have done an awesome job - no matter what you see. And in the end, you are the only one that you need to prove yourself to. Don't think you need to impress anyone here. You have our support no matter what.
    1886 days ago
    I don't know you well yet but the things about you that stand out to me is your courage and honesty! You have done a masterful job of changing your lifestyle and destiny!! Sometimes it takes awhile for the outward results to show up which is why so many give up. YOU are doing an awesome job!!!

    emoticon Cindy
    1886 days ago
    Remember that sometimes facing our "fears" is the next step we need to continue on to the next step..you know to keep going, to try harder etc.! Its not about us out here..its about you & how far you ve come! Be proud...you might look at the pictures & think "darn girl" you ve got it goin on!!
    1886 days ago
  • L1ZB3TH354
    Pixie, you have worked hard. I think you will show a big difference in your before and after pictures. You posted your t-shirts the other day, and boy, what a difference! If you don't post the pictures that is okay, we all understand how you feel. Don't put any pressure on yourself. Just relax and enjoy the journey. Wishing you peace of mind! emoticon
    1886 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1886 days ago
  • MAGA99
    u r toning always remember that
    1886 days ago
    You are doing great no matter what the scale says or what your picture shows! You have changed your life! You are living healthy! Can you imagine going back to the way we were before SparkPeople? I can't!
    "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men." Col. 3:23
    1886 days ago
  • ELLIE381
    Pixie no matter what those pictures show or the weight on the scale is, we are always going to be happy for you. We know how hard you work at staying healthy. We are behind you 100%. emoticon
    1886 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/23/2013 9:38:59 AM
  • GLORYB83
    You don't even need the scale to see your progress Pixie dear, you are getting lots of NSV's and that's important! YOU know you eat healthy and YOU know you work hard at exercising. It is YOU that's important!
    Nothing you can do or say and show can ever disappoint me. I'm proud of you!
    p.s . . . I know you're going to be fine!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1886 days ago
    You are not doing this journey for others - you are doing it for yourself - always keep that in the front of your mind. If you're not encouraged by the people in front of you just know that everyone here on Spark WILL encourage you!!

    Every change you make is a POSITIVE one! Just remember that and pooh on the heads of those who may try to bring you down!!!!!

    You can do this!!!!
    1886 days ago
    Very good!
    1886 days ago
    You're smart to stay away from the scale because, no matter how I tell myself not to, I get riled when I see higher numbers despite
    all my hard work.
    1886 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment
    Member Comments Page (124 total):  < Previous 1 2 3

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.