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    BRADMILL2922   37,581
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Commitment : The Rest Of The Story...

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

(I apologive for the novel ahead of time)

I think the key to really having success in creating a healthier me is commitment. I have committed to a consistent workout program. I have committed to a healthy eating program. Basically, I have committed to a healthy lifestyle. After all, to be successful, we have to really commit to that lifestyle change or it just won't happen! I have lost 125.6 lbs. in 262 days (since May 5th) and I think the number one reason is commitment! I made a plan, and I have stuck to the plan.

I believe this because I have done this before, without said commitment. I did not join Spark on May 5, 2012, rather on August 10, 2009. Basically, I started this almost 2 1/2 years earlier. When I started back in 2009, I had success. I had a lot of success! So what went wrong? What brought me back to Spark? What is the difference this time? All are good questions that I am going to answer. I will answer these questions in hopes that if future Brad decides to go off the track, that maybe he can look back upon this and get right back on track. Also, maybe someone reading this may take a little something from it and use it to succeed in their journey. Maybe.

Most of you reading this, probably know a decent amount about my current story. But let us jump in our Delorean, hit 88 mph, generate our 1.21 gigawatts and travel back to 2009 for the rest of the story.

At the end of May, 2009, I weighed myself for the first time in years and was stunned by the number I saw on the scale. I mean, it was not good! Not that I should have been all that surprised from lack of exercising and eating crap upon crap upon crap all the time. So I decided I wanted to lose weight, but how? I really didn't know much of anything about nutrition or exercise plans. I mean, I worked out in high school and college playing baseball, but that was for baseball. I didn't like exercise. The only thing I really knew was that I needed to eat better. So, I ate better through the summer of 2009 and lost about 32 lbs between May 31st and August 10th. Not bad actually. I really just ate better (not great) and increased my activity some by walking more and playing more golf. I really didn't have any set plan to do it or to keep doing it. I just went along.

Then, on or about August 5th, a group of people from work went out to lunch and invited me along. We had lunch at Tumbleweed on the river (you Louisville people know the spot) and it was pretty good. I really don't remember what I had that day because that isn't the important part of the story. The important part is who was there. In particular, a young lady who we will call C.J. Of course this starts with a girl, doesn't it always? I had sort of known her before but we talked most of lunch. It was nice.

I spent that weekend, thinking I really want to ask her out but no way a girl like her is going to go for a guy like me. So I decided that I needed to kick up the intensity of this weight loss thing a notch. I had it stuck in my head, that I would lose the weight and if I lost enough, she would say yes to a date. That was my thinking!

So I found Spark and signed up on August 10th. My plan was to follow a strict diet plan, track it all, and increase my activity even more. I still knew nothing about actual nutrition. I was not going to do an actual workout plan. I really didn't have a plan, except I was going to eat about 1,500 calories a day...and I did! Sounds like a good plan but at 6'7" and a lot of weight to lose, that is not a good plan. I was basically just starving myself. I was hungry all the time but I just sucked it up and went on.

It worked. From August 10th through December 31st, I lost 67 lbs bring my total up to 99 lbs since May 31st. I had lost 99 lbs and I was really proud of that. So proud, that I actually decided I could now ask C.J out on a date. So, near the end of December, I did ask her out. I did it in the morning before work. She gave me a long answer that included phrases like, "I just got out of a thing", "I don't know what I want", "I'm not saying no", "I'll call you tonight".

Ok, so being an optimistic person, I hung on to the "I'll call you tonight". Well, she never did. I didn't see her for almost 3 weeks with Christmas Break and all but when I did, I asked her why she didn't call. She said that she was sick over break and busy and all that kind of stuff and pretty much left it there. No mention of what I had asked. No answer. I didn't push because that's not me. Till this day, I have never gotten an answer. Not going to lie, that hurt.

But, I was still determined to lose more weight. I had come so far, might as well keep going right? I was working 2 jobs, I started P90x, I started coaching high school baseball part time, I have 3 kids myself...so I basically burnt myself out. I quit tracking. I quit coaching baseball. I quit P90x. My main motivation (the girl) wasn't going to happen. I was done. I had lost 121 lbs. Problem is, I went right back into old habits.

Between March 2010 and May 2012, I gained back 78 of the 121 lbs I had lost.

Reading that sentence kind of makes me ill now. At least I didn't gain it all back I suppose. That means with the 43 I didn't gain back and the 125 I have lost this time, I am down 168 lbs. now from my highest known weight.

At the beginning of May of 2012, I decided that I have had enough of this. I was going to make changes in my life to be healthy. I was going to get healthy and have a better self image. I was going to get healthy so I can live and be a good example for my children. I was going to do this for me and them...nobody else. This time, I had plan. This time, it wasn't for a girl. I was going to do it right, and for the right reasons. I had a plan, I was going to execute said plan, and I would not stop the plan...ever! Not for anything. I did my research about nutrition and exercises. This time, I was going to be well informed. This was going to be a TOTAL lifestyle change. This was not going to be a quick fix plan. I was going to set a goal, meet that goal, and then maintain that goal! It was going to take a lot of TIME and a lot of EFFORT.

It was going to take commitment!

So take this away from my story if you take nothing else. Commit to your plan. Commit, commit, commit! Find what works for you and do it! Do it for you!

Be Your Change

Embrace Your Possibilities

Good Day Sparkville

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KMM1123 1/23/2013 4:24PM

    Really nice blog! Thanks for sharing. I agree that there's no way this healthy habits lifestyle will succeed unless we're doing it to better ourselves.

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DAUGHTEROFTWIN 1/23/2013 4:16PM

    This is a great blog. I know exactly what you are talking about here. Getting thin for "somebody" else almost always works--up to a point. And then it doesn't continue to sustain us. True success--true commitment-- comes when the switch flips, the light bulb goes on and we are ready to make long term changes. To have the strength to ultimately overcome our bad habits and maladapted coping mechanisms, all the stars have to align and we have to find an inner spark that is selfish and self driven.

As for C.J., You deserve to find that person who will appreciate you for who you are, who will find you sexy no matter what you weigh, who will have the common courtesy to be honest with you even when it hurts and whose honesty comes from a place of love and compassion, instead of a desire to wound. You also deserve to reach your goals as a way of uncovering the confidence and fun and vitality that has been hidden inside.

I remain in awe of your ongoing, unwavering commitment to your journey. Thanks for sharing.



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HAPPYERIN 1/23/2013 3:20PM

    Thank you for sharing your story, Brad! It is interesting that you can pinpoint the exact moment that you were hit with motivation, even after all these years, and then the moment that you lost it (aka the EVIL GIRL -- erm, C.J.). But those are the things that stick with us, and kudos to you for making this fresh start and finding your true motivation -- you and your kids -- to get you moving.

And look at how much you have done, and in less than a year! You have made INSANE progress and have done more than many can boast, so you should be darn proud! Who knows where you'll be when May comes around -- no doubt even further along and closer to your goal!

YOU ROCK!!!! KEEP IT UP!!

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ONELITTLEPILL 1/23/2013 12:48PM

    I think you're totally right about the commitment part. I am quite sure the reason I was able to complete Insanity (twice, now), was having the workout schedule already determined, having it in front of me, and not allowing "I don't feel like it" to be an option. Now I am on my 3rd week of Les Mills Combat and loving it. Particularly loving that the schedule is once again laid out for me and I don't have to sit there and try to decide what, if anything, I am going to do that day. Just push through and it's over before ya know it. I think you have done amazing things!!! I'm thankful for your inspiration. Seeing the dedication of my SparkFriends really does rub off. I think the reason it's different this time is that I decided to do this for ME and no one else. Not to look good for someone else, but to stop feeling appalled any time someone took my picture and to stop staying home from doing fun things because I was embarrassed to be seen in a swimsuit, pair of shorts, or whatever. It's simply about ME, my health, and how I want to live my life (healthy and happy, not fat and miserable). Sounds like you have come to the same place. Thanks for the ride in the Delorean. You rock!

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LISAMG1220 1/23/2013 11:38AM

    You are so right, commitment to yourself is an important key on our journey. Thanks for the ride in the Delorian, Doc and thanks for another dose if inspiration.
You rock!!! :)

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REVIVED 1/23/2013 8:20AM

    Well you definitely inspire me! If you can do it twice, I should be able to do it once, right?! A girl can hope anyway.

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SHIRE33 1/23/2013 7:53AM

    I can really relate. I lost 93 and have gained back 40. But I'm not giving up. Stressful times got to me over the last 6 months. I've been doing strength training and some cardio, but not at the rate I was, and I've been overeating. One thing different this time is that at least I'm still doing something and still weighing each day. One of these days it's just going to click again, but in the meantime, I haven't given up. I love hearing about how you got back on it for the right reasons. Good motivation. : )


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MERETONI 1/23/2013 7:22AM

    I definitely think everyone who starts, and sticks with, a workout/ nutrition plan does so because something clicks. I spent years (4 or more) thinking to myself 'I need to lose weight.' I would workout but not do anything with nutrition... I thought what I ate and the amount I ate was ok. So of course working out and doing nearly all of P90X showed NO results due to the lack of food tracking. Regardless, you are right, it is a commitment. A life time of a commitment.

I wish everyone who wants that change finds Sparkpeople. It changes lives! Congrats on your weight loss and commitment!

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