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Fat wings versus bat wings: The battle is on!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Noticing changes or sometimes a lack of changes, well, itís been an adventure.

For instance, until recently, I couldnít tell you what it would feel like to start developing core muscles, but now I think Iím finally getting a taste of that.

Itís strange. The other day Iím sitting there in my comfy chair in the living room and low and behold I feel something weird, like muscles in my core all tight as if they were busy getting stronger.

Of course that day I had done my strength training, a routine that takes about an hour, and is pretty heavy on core exercises.

I mean, why not? After all itís my middle that needs taming most of all. Although frankly, I could think of a few other places that need it too.

Like why in heavenís name is it that I exercise my arms so much and they just donít want to shrink as often as Iíd like them too?

Itís frustrating. Those things, they are huge. If I keep shrinking at the rate I have been, over the course of time, my waist may be smaller than my arms!

Seriously! That would look a little weird.

Itís sort of like how ďtheyĒ Ė whoever ďtheyĒ are Ė describe the actual dimensions of the traditional Barbie doll. You know Ė how the measurements are just not realistic for a normal human being.

In any case, Iím no Barbie, and I donít need a mirror to tell me that! But the measurements, well I wonder if I wonít undergo the same sort of phenomenon.

Only for me, it would be my arms and my legs being way to big for my waist.

And will my head ever shrink?

Okay, I know, thatís a weird question if Iíve ever heard one!

Why would I want that to shrink?

Well, certainly not to lose any gray matter, thatís for sure! I need as much of that as I can get!

It just seems that my headís so much larger now that Iím so overweight.

I have this velvet hat from Germany that I just love that I canít wear now because my headís gotten so big.

And I donít think itís because of all those all-night study sessions I spent in college!

You see, I notice that with this large head of mine, Iíve also gotten puffy cheeks and a large double chin.

At least some of that is reducing and firming up a little.

So maybe in a few months my double chin wonít need itís own zip code any more.

Hm. Howíd I get from writing about a strengthened core to mapping my chin on Google Earth? Okay, well maybe I should really get back on track.

But what would be the fun of that?

Iím glad my core is getting stronger. I think thatís important.

But those problem areas Ö wow! Whatís a girl to do?

Nip, nip! Tuck, tuck! Okay, maybe not. You canít nip, nip and tuck, tuck at my weight. Iím sure they wouldnít do it.

So patience is the name of the game as usual, and as usual, that seems to be my least favorite virtue!

You mean I have to wait?

Iím trying.

I wait to pull out that measuring tape as much as I can before succumbing to curiosity. I only measure probably about once a month or twice if I am extra impatient, and some of those measurements do change a little bit. But those arms! They are extra stubborn!

Early on in my journey I was worried that Iíd have bat-wings so large I might knock myself out if I wasnít careful, but now Iím worried that if that fat doesnít go away, what could have been bat wings will just end up being fat wings.

Well, at least Iíll stay buoyant in water!

Itís not like I hate the floppy masses, they are what they are and as Iíve said before, my body did itís best with the circumstances that it was given at the time.

And for that, in a weird way, I have to respect my fat wings, even if that sounds a little weird.

But like a visitor that stays too long, my fat wings need to be on their way.

Bye bye fat wings! Iím sorry, but frankly, I wonít miss you, even if I say I respect you.

Itís just that they donít quite go well with tank tops and sleeveless shirts!

Okay, I realize, someone my size probably shouldnít wear a tank top out in public, and I do my best to keep that kind of thing to the confines of my home. Iíll probably do that well into the future, at least until my fat-wings start disappearing.

But on extra hot days, those shirts may find an opportunity to come out of hiding. But certainly, that wonít be today, being in the middle of January and being quite cold. A good number of hours ago, a thermometer outside said that it was 8 degrees Fahrenheit. Yikes!

For my Celsius loving friends, I donít even think that number translates. Itís so cold it falls off the chart. Okay, I admit it, it doesnít really fall off the chart, but a negative number that big, well, it sounds cold. It comes out about -13.3333 degrees according to Google.

And Iím sure itís even colder now because the sun's been down for many hours now.

I think itís time for me to migrate to another hemisphere.

Iíll be the ultimate snow-bird. Instead of going to Florida for the winter, Iíll just go somewhere where itís actually summertime in January! Although Iím sure Florida would do just fine temperature wise.

Ah, through my ramblings I find a perfect fat-wing solution! Iíll melt them in the sun! (With sunscreen of course.)

Now thatís a solution I could live with no matter what hemisphere Iím in!

FUN FACT: I once moved from a campus apartment to a dorm in weather that I believe was about -14 degrees Fahrenheit, with some wicked amount of wind-chill so awful I canít remember it. Now that translates to about -25.5556 degrees Celsius. Ouch! Somehow I was motivated to move faster than ever that day! Thereís nothing like the threat of serious frostbite to motivate me to get my buns moving fast! It worked!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh, you just crack me up, kid! Keep writing, please. Bat wings, baahahahahaaa.
    1410 days ago
    Thankyou for making me smile and laugh.. I love how you write, so infused with humour. Our bodies seem to lose where they want first, not where we'd like them too! for me it was the stomach.. it's taking it's sweet time trying to develop abs, despite numerous daily crunches!!

    Keep up the writing as you sure are good at it! emoticon
    1416 days ago
    One of the things I've been working on is being "okay" with myself regardless of any numbers on the scale or tape measure. Wrapping my self esteem up with those numbers has taken enough of a toll!

    Keep living your healthy & well lifestyle, your SPARKED life and all those measurements will take care of themselves and be just exactly what they should be! :-)

    1417 days ago
    I enjoyed your ramblings. If ever you find the solution to bat wings please let me know- the sound of them flapping can be deafening if I'm not careful how I move emoticon
    1417 days ago
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