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Not a Hammer, But Still a Tool


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Been sick the last couple of days. You know the kind. Four boxes of tissues and three bags of cough drops later and you finally stop sounding like you've smoked 3 packs a day for 30 years. Can't say I worked out every day. Gave myself a few of those days off. Did walk a time or two on the treadmill. Funny thing is, when I walked on the treadmill, I could actually breathe through my nose! Good motivation, but not enough to do it the two days I truly felt craptastic.

But I got on there tonight. Just went for a walk. I'll admit, I've traded one addiction (food) for another (numbers). These past few weeks, especially since January Jumpstart Week 2 that wanted us to track our food at least 3 of the days, I have been addicted to this website and making sure I put in every last number I can. Logging my food (not a bad habit to get into!), logging my weight everyday, logging my fitness minutes, going through the SparkPoints page to see how else I can earn more points. I've watched my weight go up and down on the report, I've watched myself go over on my calories and fat most days, but the point is, I've been obsessed with the numbers. Right now they're my motivation. Getting good numbers and being able to log big numbers makes me feel proud of myself, but I've needed those numbers to tell me how proud of myself I should be.

But tonight, I had a breakthrough.

While walking on the treadmill tonight, I had added an extra shirt cuz it's chilly in the basement. Part way through (not sure, but sometime after 15 minutes or so), I had warmed up and so I wanted to take the top layer off. In the process of doing that, I accidentally pulled the emergency stop cord on the treadmill. That reset all of the numbers for my workout so far. I didn't know how many calories I had already burned, I didn't know how many minutes I had already been on there and there was the tiniest moment of panic. How am I going to log the right fitness minutes for the day?! How am I going to know how many total calories I burned and plug those in?! And then I realized, it doesn't matter.

Numbers don't matter. It doesn't matter if I did 30 minutes or 75 minutes on the treadmill. It doesn't matter if I burned 200 calories or 350 calories. Because what TRULY matters is that I got off my butt and did SOMETHING. I exercised. I did more than I did on the days I did nothing. Did I do less than the days I have gone for a full out run on the treadmill? Yup and I'm okay with that. Recovering from a cold, my body isn't ready for that. But I did what I could with what I had. And that's all that matters. Making those decisions that move me in the right direction. It's the journey and NOT a number, that's going to make me happy and healthy and fit in the long run.

Am I still addicted? Sure am. And I'll still have a good time logging in all of those numbers on SparkPeople everyday. Because, right now, that's what my tool of choice is. It's working for me. And that's all I need.
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