This has been a tough 2 weeks for me. Without wanting to be redundant, I will simply say that I had the worst anxiety / depressive episode I have ever had. All of the triggers were present to bring on the mother of all panic attacks. It has taken a while but after some corrective action, I have finally gotten to a place where I am back to my old self.
After some therapy (ongoing) and some modifications in my lifestyle, I have seen some relief and a new sense of being on the right track. I have admitted to my issues and I am not ashamed to admit them here. This may very well be one of the last blockades from reaching my ultimate goal. I sense a new victory may be on the horizon for me. It may take a while for me to get it right but I will continue to march.
One of these days I will march seven times around the walls that hold me back, blow the trumpet and watch them in a moment of glory as they fall flat. That day I will sound the charge and show no mercy to those things that have kept me slogging along on the emotional treadmill.
Those episodes have been compounded by my rotating shift schedule . I waste alot of good training time recovering from the emotional eating and compromised mental state and by the time I get back to training readiness, its back to night shift again.
Now for the big challenge. I am going on nights tomorrow for another 7 days . I have things in place (no medication) and a plan of action to cope with it. If I am successful, this is going to be my golden ticket to success. This is really the last really big hurdle to my ultimate success. We will put this to the test over the next 7 days. Will it be perfect? Of course not, nothing ever is the first few times much like passing a dull knife over a sharpening steel. Keep at it and it will be perfected to a razors edge.
While I am never excited about getting another dose of the equivalent of jet lag, I am excited about focusing on this issue because eventually I will be able to successfully manage it rather than being constantly being knocked to the ground. Its hard to lose weight when I am forever recovering from emotional binge eating and all of the stress hormones.
I feel confident.
Training for my 70.3 doesn't start on the running path, cycling, or swimming laps. It starts with managing myself and my inner core. From there, the forces that drive my eating patterns are controlled. Once eating patterns are stabilized, the weight takes care of itself. For every pound lost, my pace gets faster and every stroke more efficient.
Yeah, I got this.
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