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    ON2VICTORY   47,149
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Now for the big challenge...

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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

This has been a tough 2 weeks for me. Without wanting to be redundant, I will simply say that I had the worst anxiety / depressive episode I have ever had. All of the triggers were present to bring on the mother of all panic attacks. It has taken a while but after some corrective action, I have finally gotten to a place where I am back to my old self.

After some therapy (ongoing) and some modifications in my lifestyle, I have seen some relief and a new sense of being on the right track. I have admitted to my issues and I am not ashamed to admit them here. This may very well be one of the last blockades from reaching my ultimate goal. I sense a new victory may be on the horizon for me. It may take a while for me to get it right but I will continue to march.

One of these days I will march seven times around the walls that hold me back, blow the trumpet and watch them in a moment of glory as they fall flat. That day I will sound the charge and show no mercy to those things that have kept me slogging along on the emotional treadmill.

Those episodes have been compounded by my rotating shift schedule . I waste alot of good training time recovering from the emotional eating and compromised mental state and by the time I get back to training readiness, its back to night shift again.

Now for the big challenge. I am going on nights tomorrow for another 7 days . I have things in place (no medication) and a plan of action to cope with it. If I am successful, this is going to be my golden ticket to success. This is really the last really big hurdle to my ultimate success. We will put this to the test over the next 7 days. Will it be perfect? Of course not, nothing ever is the first few times much like passing a dull knife over a sharpening steel. Keep at it and it will be perfected to a razors edge.

While I am never excited about getting another dose of the equivalent of jet lag, I am excited about focusing on this issue because eventually I will be able to successfully manage it rather than being constantly being knocked to the ground. Its hard to lose weight when I am forever recovering from emotional binge eating and all of the stress hormones.

I feel confident.

Training for my 70.3 doesn't start on the running path, cycling, or swimming laps. It starts with managing myself and my inner core. From there, the forces that drive my eating patterns are controlled. Once eating patterns are stabilized, the weight takes care of itself. For every pound lost, my pace gets faster and every stroke more efficient.

Yeah, I got this.

Link To My Public Blog... mailboxes2miles.blogspot
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IWEARBGPANTIES 1/23/2013 9:32AM

    emoticon for sharing.

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NIKKIJ55 1/23/2013 9:30AM

    Good luck! emoticon

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BRYDER21 1/23/2013 9:19AM

    Thank you for sharing your journey. Life is a journey, not a destination. You are right on track by MARCHING ON! It helps all of us that you are strong enough to share your bad times as well as good. emoticon

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JANEMARIE77 1/23/2013 9:18AM

    emoticon

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CEEMAY 1/23/2013 9:14AM

    Sending you good thoughts!

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TINY67 1/23/2013 9:09AM

    emoticon

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KNYAGENYA 1/23/2013 8:57AM

    You can do it. I have faith in you.

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GOOSIEMOON 1/23/2013 8:56AM

    emoticon emoticon

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WOOFGANG 1/23/2013 8:56AM

    good luck! you are in control and you are doing a wonderful job!

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HLOCHRIDGE 1/23/2013 8:44AM

    You can do it!!!!!!!!!!

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GINA180847 1/23/2013 8:42AM

    Similiar to the words of the song, 'You are often on my mind!' Good to hear from you again and it sure is true. The struggle is ongoing.

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LBTHOMASJR 1/23/2013 8:41AM

    It's just ON 2 YOUR LATEST VICTORY Joshua, I mean Robert! You can do this. You know you've got a ton of SparkFreinds and at least one whole SparkTeam cheering you on every step of the way!

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MOMOSG 1/23/2013 8:39AM

    Great determined spirit and a sound plan! You will be fine because you know there will be hurdles but you believe you can overcome them. Awesome!

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GREENVALLEYS 1/23/2013 8:36AM

    Sounds like a plan to me! emoticon

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JMERLAU 1/23/2013 8:35AM

    Great blog Robert! STAY WITH THE FIGHT BROTHER!

You are so right....YOU'VE GOT THIS

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LINDAOZ62 1/23/2013 8:23AM

  Sounds like you got it. Good job!

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INGMARIE 1/23/2013 8:19AM

    emoticon emoticon
You can do this, you rock ,so here is your badge: emoticon

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MOMMY445 1/23/2013 8:05AM

    you are so strong! you can do this! you are worth it!

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AMANDACOETZER 1/23/2013 8:05AM

    emoticon

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LILY_SPARK 1/23/2013 8:00AM

    I'm happy you're getting the help you need. A lot of people never reach out.

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JO28352 1/23/2013 7:55AM

    emoticon

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BECKYANNE1 1/23/2013 7:52AM

    Stay positive! emoticon

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GARDENCHRIS 1/23/2013 7:51AM

    hang in there ..... you CAN overcome those things and you will!

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DEBLYNN323 1/23/2013 7:45AM

    You can do this! Be strong!

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CFMOSS 1/23/2013 7:40AM

    On 2 victory - you can do this.

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NILLAPEPSI 1/23/2013 7:38AM

    We'll be there with you when you march around your Jericho. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CVRONEK 1/23/2013 7:36AM

    emoticon I love your positive, confident attitude. Take care.

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SHIRE33 1/23/2013 7:32AM

    I really admire your tenacity. You always pick yourself back up and go again. We all need to see this in each other.

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WATERDIAMONDS 1/23/2013 7:28AM

    We're here. Cheering, pulling for you, believing in you.

You've got this--yeah, you do.


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SHIELDAC 1/23/2013 7:27AM

    emoticon

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TEACHING1ST 1/23/2013 7:24AM

    To Jerico and Beyond...may those walls come tumbling down!

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FITMARTI 1/23/2013 7:22AM

    You can do it

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PENOWOK 1/23/2013 7:17AM

    Absolutely right-it all starts in the noggin!

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LOLABLACK69 1/23/2013 7:13AM

    good luck!! emoticon

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NANAWILDCAT 1/23/2013 7:11AM

    You can SO do this, and as always, thank you for sharing and letting us know that We are not alone.

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FORBANDE 1/23/2013 7:11AM

    Yep. You sure do.

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JANAMP09 1/23/2013 7:11AM

    emoticon

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BESSHAILE 1/23/2013 7:03AM

    we're rooting for you all the way

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SANDYCRANE 1/23/2013 6:58AM

    I wish they had never invented those stupid rotating shifts. Can't these industries see the toll it is taking on people. Good luck to you.

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WISDOM73 1/23/2013 6:57AM

    Dear sparkie, thank you for your blog. I had a similar episode last week and I can relate to what you shared. I have found that honnesty, openess and willingness to change have ma de a great deal of a difference in my life. I have tools and I have the courage to change what can be changed. May the very best manifest for you over the next few days. Much love and light to you.

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KATHIC2 1/23/2013 6:57AM

  You rock!

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DMEYER4 1/23/2013 6:56AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon Good luck and I know you can do it

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LOGOULD 1/23/2013 6:54AM

    Robert, you constantly amaze me! Learning to handle everything that life throws at you, but still stay on track is harder than losing the weight, but it IS doable with the support and encouragement of others who are doing it or have done it. Thanks for blazing the trail once again friend!

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BLUENOSE63 1/23/2013 6:52AM

  You have come so far and this is the last step. Keep pushing those boundaries and you will see the that yellow brick road soon



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KUZMENKA 1/23/2013 6:50AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRUMBLEGIRL 1/23/2013 6:31AM

    Best of luck. Sounds like you have a plan in place.

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GRAMPIAN 1/23/2013 6:26AM

  emoticon

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CAM2438 1/23/2013 6:25AM

    I know it is not easy, but you can do it. emoticon emoticon

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NCSUE0514 1/23/2013 6:18AM

    GO FOR IT, GAL!

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JGRAY76 1/23/2013 6:13AM

    Having a plan is half the battle. There are lots of people out here pulling for you.
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