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Now for the big challenge...


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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

This has been a tough 2 weeks for me. Without wanting to be redundant, I will simply say that I had the worst anxiety / depressive episode I have ever had. All of the triggers were present to bring on the mother of all panic attacks. It has taken a while but after some corrective action, I have finally gotten to a place where I am back to my old self.

After some therapy (ongoing) and some modifications in my lifestyle, I have seen some relief and a new sense of being on the right track. I have admitted to my issues and I am not ashamed to admit them here. This may very well be one of the last blockades from reaching my ultimate goal. I sense a new victory may be on the horizon for me. It may take a while for me to get it right but I will continue to march.

One of these days I will march seven times around the walls that hold me back, blow the trumpet and watch them in a moment of glory as they fall flat. That day I will sound the charge and show no mercy to those things that have kept me slogging along on the emotional treadmill.

Those episodes have been compounded by my rotating shift schedule . I waste alot of good training time recovering from the emotional eating and compromised mental state and by the time I get back to training readiness, its back to night shift again.

Now for the big challenge. I am going on nights tomorrow for another 7 days . I have things in place (no medication) and a plan of action to cope with it. If I am successful, this is going to be my golden ticket to success. This is really the last really big hurdle to my ultimate success. We will put this to the test over the next 7 days. Will it be perfect? Of course not, nothing ever is the first few times much like passing a dull knife over a sharpening steel. Keep at it and it will be perfected to a razors edge.

While I am never excited about getting another dose of the equivalent of jet lag, I am excited about focusing on this issue because eventually I will be able to successfully manage it rather than being constantly being knocked to the ground. Its hard to lose weight when I am forever recovering from emotional binge eating and all of the stress hormones.

I feel confident.

Training for my 70.3 doesn't start on the running path, cycling, or swimming laps. It starts with managing myself and my inner core. From there, the forces that drive my eating patterns are controlled. Once eating patterns are stabilized, the weight takes care of itself. For every pound lost, my pace gets faster and every stroke more efficient.

Yeah, I got this.

Link To My Public Blog... mailboxes2miles.blogspot
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRUCKER72 1/23/2013 4:42PM

    I used to work alternating 12-hour shifts at an emergency shelter for about 5 years. I resigned almost 6 years ago and I am still recovering from the shifts. I empathize with you. You seem to have more inner strength than I did at the time. Hold on to that and keep in touch.

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ALIDOSHA 1/23/2013 4:32PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DIANNEMT 1/23/2013 4:23PM

    Sorry you have such a recurring issue -- those night shifts -- but kudos to figuring out what to do. Best of luck!

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JENNIEQKA 1/23/2013 4:22PM

    Thanks for your honesty! Great blog! emoticon emoticon

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LTMURPHY7 1/23/2013 4:08PM

  emoticon

emoticon

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BARBARASDIET 1/23/2013 3:22PM

    emoticon

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JANETTEB553 1/23/2013 3:09PM

    one step at a time...best wishes.. emoticon

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CHOCCER20 1/23/2013 2:48PM

    Great attitude! Thanks for sharing emoticon

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KOOKYKATHIE 1/23/2013 2:46PM

    I feel so bad about the constant adjusting you have to do with your work schedule. It just seems very difficult and I am so routing for you!!!

I'm glad you have a plan in place. emoticon and I'm wishing you every success with it. emoticon

I know jobs are hard to come by but have you considered work elsewhere that doesn't have constant changing shifts?

Good Luck and stay hopeful. I'm emoticon you on!!!

Take Care emoticon

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CHARTHESTAR 1/23/2013 2:41PM

    You will get there! We all have faith in you. It will take some tweeking but eventually you will get where you want to be.

I have no doubt about this- You have shown how determined you are time and time again- You will get there and we will be cheering for you! emoticon

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SEEINGCLEARLY53 1/23/2013 2:39PM

    emoticon

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KARENLEIGH32 1/23/2013 2:31PM

    Sounds like you are taking care of you, that is the 1st thing that you need to do in order to become a healthy you!

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GOING-STRONG 1/23/2013 2:24PM

    emoticon

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DW33412 1/23/2013 2:17PM

  emoticon

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PATRICIAANN46 1/23/2013 1:43PM

  We are behind you. Stay strong!!! emoticon

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FLRED12 1/23/2013 1:35PM

  Good luck. emoticon emoticon

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DEBBYNATION 1/23/2013 1:31PM

    U CAN DO IT! :)

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THOMS1 1/23/2013 1:17PM

    emoticon

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JIBBIE49 1/23/2013 1:13PM

    Again you're the STar. emoticon

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BKNOCK 1/23/2013 1:03PM

    emoticon

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KARRENLYNN 1/23/2013 12:53PM

    We're all cheering for you and supporting you. I hope your next week and your plan for coping are successful! Just take 1 choice at a time.

Karen

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CHANGINGSAM 1/23/2013 12:51PM

    I love your positive attitude! Good luck with the new plan!

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ANDIG8 1/23/2013 12:09PM

    We're all out here for you! You've got this!

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NEWCHINELO 1/23/2013 12:07PM

    You are IN CHARGE so YOU will get THERE.

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DAYHIKER 1/23/2013 12:06PM

    Great insight; great blog post! emoticon emoticon

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BSLMKH1954 1/23/2013 12:00PM

    emoticon emoticon

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RUNNER4LIFE08 1/23/2013 11:57AM

    You are well on your way my friend of finding that inner happiness! You can do this!!!

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JOANNHUNT 1/23/2013 11:55AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOYFULSONG45 1/23/2013 11:50AM

    You have the right attitude. You can do it.

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BLUEJEAN99 1/23/2013 11:42AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ASHLEEFV 1/23/2013 11:36AM

    Congrats on being the featured member blog! emoticon

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PYNETREE 1/23/2013 11:28AM

    I wish you strength! You CAN do this!

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OKGOATGAL 1/23/2013 11:17AM

  woohoo! You go!


Comment edited on: 1/23/2013 4:15:15 PM

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FAVORITEAUNT84 1/23/2013 11:17AM

    Good for you for having such a positive attitude going into this latest 'challenge'! emoticon

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NLYR20 1/23/2013 11:16AM

  emoticon emoticon

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MORGANSMOM52 1/23/2013 11:08AM

    I don't know where you work or what you do but I wish that your employers would stop that madness! It is FAR better to work one shift continually than to have to rotate among three shifts....for everyone concerned!
I wish you well. You can do it!!

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SUGAR0814 1/23/2013 11:00AM

    emoticon thanks for sharing!

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NANCY- 1/23/2013 10:55AM

    Two things stuck me.
1. Will it be perfect? Of course not, nothing ever is the first few times much like passing a dull knife over a sharpening steel. Keep at it and it will be perfected to a razors edge.
2. I am excited about focusing on this issue because eventually I will be able to successfully manage it rather than being constantly being knocked to the ground.

Finding what works for you is half the battle , the other part is putting what you found into practice. Your words reminded me to keep moving forward on working on my breathing and mediation for stress reduction. Thank you and I wish you well on your adventurous journey toward management. You will get there.
emoticon

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1GROVES2 1/23/2013 10:53AM

    My daughter has PTSD and other mental health issues, I don`t understand, but when people like you come out and say things about your disorders, I feel better knowing she is not alone. ....I hope you understand what I`m saying here. I apprciate your posting these things, it makes it easier for me to understand her....anyway Thank You.
PS I like the Joshua analogy!
:)

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NOTSOFLUFFYDAD 1/23/2013 10:40AM

    great attitude! i suffer from PTSD, so i understand

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DDOORN 1/23/2013 10:17AM

    Sounding strong and SPARKED! Keep 'er going...one foot ahead of the other!

Rotating shifts...could not IMAGINE dealing with such demands...yeesh!

Don

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LADYBUG0805 1/23/2013 10:12AM

    What a Great attitude! emoticon

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 1/23/2013 10:06AM

    Great job working through it, Robert!!! I'm proud of you and am here if you need backup!!

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CBRINKLEY401 1/23/2013 10:06AM

    I'm rooting for you to make it through this!
emoticon

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LRB444 1/23/2013 10:06AM

    I have fait in you. You can do it.

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CHRISBEM 1/23/2013 9:57AM

    How you described how you feel is so relatable...the drama I've had in my life since the start of the year and the stress that comes with it have made it so much harder to achieve goals...but as you write, if we can just push through it...

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NEPTUNE1939 1/23/2013 9:53AM

    Stay with it emoticon

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GIRLINMOTION 1/23/2013 9:51AM

    emoticon Slow and steady along with deep breathes will get you there. You will do this!

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KELSEY54 1/23/2013 9:49AM

    You have down so well! You can finish it, you are that strong person !
emoticon emoticon

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DEDE824 1/23/2013 9:47AM

    emoticon
Thanks for sharing and best wishes as you go to the night shift!

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