Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    ON2VICTORY   47,530
SparkPoints
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints
 
 

Now for the big challenge...


Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

This has been a tough 2 weeks for me. Without wanting to be redundant, I will simply say that I had the worst anxiety / depressive episode I have ever had. All of the triggers were present to bring on the mother of all panic attacks. It has taken a while but after some corrective action, I have finally gotten to a place where I am back to my old self.

After some therapy (ongoing) and some modifications in my lifestyle, I have seen some relief and a new sense of being on the right track. I have admitted to my issues and I am not ashamed to admit them here. This may very well be one of the last blockades from reaching my ultimate goal. I sense a new victory may be on the horizon for me. It may take a while for me to get it right but I will continue to march.

One of these days I will march seven times around the walls that hold me back, blow the trumpet and watch them in a moment of glory as they fall flat. That day I will sound the charge and show no mercy to those things that have kept me slogging along on the emotional treadmill.

Those episodes have been compounded by my rotating shift schedule . I waste alot of good training time recovering from the emotional eating and compromised mental state and by the time I get back to training readiness, its back to night shift again.

Now for the big challenge. I am going on nights tomorrow for another 7 days . I have things in place (no medication) and a plan of action to cope with it. If I am successful, this is going to be my golden ticket to success. This is really the last really big hurdle to my ultimate success. We will put this to the test over the next 7 days. Will it be perfect? Of course not, nothing ever is the first few times much like passing a dull knife over a sharpening steel. Keep at it and it will be perfected to a razors edge.

While I am never excited about getting another dose of the equivalent of jet lag, I am excited about focusing on this issue because eventually I will be able to successfully manage it rather than being constantly being knocked to the ground. Its hard to lose weight when I am forever recovering from emotional binge eating and all of the stress hormones.

I feel confident.

Training for my 70.3 doesn't start on the running path, cycling, or swimming laps. It starts with managing myself and my inner core. From there, the forces that drive my eating patterns are controlled. Once eating patterns are stabilized, the weight takes care of itself. For every pound lost, my pace gets faster and every stroke more efficient.

Yeah, I got this.

Link To My Public Blog... mailboxes2miles.blogspot
.com/
SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GODSBEST 1/24/2013 12:47PM

    Wishing you complete success - you can do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GUITARWOMAN 1/24/2013 12:00PM

    I am rooting for you!

You can do this! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
THEWORSTWITCH 1/24/2013 11:57AM

    You are very brave to share. The night shift is definitely hard to handle on top of everything else. I wish you well. It looks like you have lots of people pulling for you. Keep us posted, will you?
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JITZUROE 1/24/2013 11:51AM

    Good for you, no GREAT for you!
You can do it. We're all here rallying for you. Thank you for sharing your struggles...

Hugs!
Bren

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHANECODER 1/24/2013 11:47AM

    How you're handling your anxiety/depression is impressive!!! emoticon I'm sure your 70.3 will go great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MBEEMOM 1/24/2013 11:27AM

    Thank you for sharing. Please know that I am praying for you to get through this. Those of us who commented previously and those who comment after me will be waiting for you on the other side...triumphant!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KIMBERLY19732 1/24/2013 11:26AM

    Absolutely the motivaltional story of the day! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WYOMINGKAT 1/24/2013 11:25AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BOILHAM 1/24/2013 10:19AM

  Stay strong, keep up the positive attitude. I feel for you, and wish you well. You have a huge cheering section out here, and you are in all our thoughts. One step at a time.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALDEBARANIAN 1/24/2013 10:03AM

    I've never understood why some companies are so stuck on swing shift schedules. Some people are natural night owls, and are happiest working graveyard. Making people who aren't work swing costs the company money and production because of exactly the things you're experiencing. Oh well, it's awful hard to change the "but we've always done it that way" attitudes of an established corporate culture.

Congrats on making the best of a tough situation.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FARIS71 1/24/2013 9:50AM

    You are definitely doing the work necessary to beat a lot of obstacles in your path. It takes a lot of soul searching and planning but it really sounds like you have got your game face on!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MWOODS21 1/24/2013 9:46AM

    Wishing you the best on your journey emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SJB7777 1/24/2013 9:33AM

  I know how frustrating it gets to deal with the anxiety and panic attacks. I have suffered with them for 10 years myself. You are making steps in the right direction by accepting them and facing them. Stay strong and keep working towards your goal.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SAMMI4444 1/24/2013 9:20AM

    Just take it one day at a time. You'll get there :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMETHYSTSTAR 1/24/2013 9:01AM

    Bright Blessings on your journey! You're an inspiration to me! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CM_GARDNER78 1/24/2013 9:01AM

    emoticon It takes time, and is hard work...but just like anything else, you can defeat it. Keep plugging away. Stay warm in the pits....seems like it's NEVER going to warm up!! :-(

Report Inappropriate Comment
CICELY360 1/24/2013 8:54AM

  good blog

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPRINGBABY80 1/24/2013 8:52AM

  emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PAHOOT 1/24/2013 8:39AM

    Best of luck with the hard task at hand. Try to stay focused on the end as I know how incredibly hard it is. Kudos to you for coming up with a plan instead of throwing in the towel.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CLUMBOY 1/24/2013 8:23AM

    plan your work, then work your plan. way to go!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LEANMEAN2 1/24/2013 7:44AM

    Good luck!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECCAZEN7 1/24/2013 7:19AM

    Thanks for the update! Let us know how your plan goes and what little tweeks you have to make to adapt it to your shift. Hang in there. Oh, and I loved your blog on blogspot - thanks for the link! Very insightful and well written emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PENNYPACKER3 1/24/2013 6:32AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
~INDYGIRL 1/24/2013 3:00AM

    My thoughts are with you, as I know how hard depression and anxiety are... and trying to get fit You will overcome!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAMER123 1/23/2013 11:42PM

    Go for it, "Joshua". Fight the battle of Jericho and you will win!! As far as the night shift, i worked them for about 35 yrs. of my working life and it does take a while to get your bio-rhythm in sinc with you working life. I have no doubt that you can do it!! It sounds like you are on the right track. Keep in touch with us as to your progress!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GIMME2AJ 1/23/2013 11:24PM

    I have been working a rotating shift schedule in manufacturing for 25 years. That is also when my weight gain started because there is not possible way to get into a regular, eat, sleep schedule. I have gained almost 60 pounds. I have always thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it was work 5 then get a break but it is the work 7 before getting a break that bothers me. I actually prefer the night shift, I guess because I have always been a night owl. It is the day shift that bothers me most, I don't understand how people can get up that early every day. Plus the fact that there are so many people and so much going on with tests to run or whatever, makes it so much more stressful. Tomorrow I start the 4-12 shift for 7 days it will be the first time on this shift since starting this new plan and I think it will be the worse for getting exercise because I can't go to sleep until ~ 5 or 6 am then sleep til time for work. I wish my gym was 24 hours so I could go right after work like I do on the 12-8 & 8-4 Shifts.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOGLADY13 1/23/2013 10:47PM

    You can do this! Every time you push through and come out on the other end, you've gotten stronger.

You aren't alone in these struggles. I was doing great managing my anxiety this month and then BANG! I woke up at 2:30 this morning and lied in bed for 2 hours worrying over nothing real. Just a nameless, free floating anxiety. I almost lost my cool after a particularly bad moment at work this afternoon but I got through it. When I got home, I was able to talk through it and saw that I did a lot of things right and I wasn't a total and complete failure at all. It takes time and practice to re-frame and learn how to get through it. You'll get there.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JERICHO1991 1/23/2013 10:31PM

    I look forward to hearing of your success each day.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROCKYCPA 1/23/2013 10:30PM

    Good for you - you can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWTINK 1/23/2013 10:26PM

    You are doing good it sounds to me especially sense you havent been in therapy that long . You know the issues now you just have to figure out to deal with them before they become more of an issue .. Good luck we all are pulling for you emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LADYMARCIA1 1/23/2013 10:16PM

    You have a real way with words. So I'm sure you will accomplish your goals with the same flare. Your strength will see you through. You will do this!!! Great blog.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PENNYPACKER3 1/23/2013 10:11PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEARTS116 1/23/2013 8:59PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CANINTEXAS 1/23/2013 8:16PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOSPARK45 1/23/2013 8:11PM

    Sounds like you're in charge! Go for it. Glad you overcame your last bout.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLUEANGELLK 1/23/2013 8:03PM

    Keep marching with that trumpet and soon all walls that slow you down will lay rumbled at your feet.

I am rooting for you!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HUTC0100 1/23/2013 7:50PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TREYONE 1/23/2013 7:47PM

  Congratulations on having a plan of attack for dealing with your shift change and the anxiety that comes with it. I have suffered from anxiety/panic attacks most of my life and know the frustration of trying to deal with living with anxiety, especially when so many people who don't suffer from generalized or situational anxiety or panic attacks simply do not understand. Keep up the good work!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LYNNA1968 1/23/2013 7:37PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
REBECKY441 1/23/2013 7:01PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHOAPIE 1/23/2013 6:45PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CLAYARTIST 1/23/2013 6:32PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MIMIDOT 1/23/2013 6:26PM

    Good lick! You can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPSPSP1 1/23/2013 6:13PM

    Looking forward to hearing how it goes!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARYJEANSL 1/23/2013 6:01PM

  Good luck to you! I have every sympathy with the problems of shift work. I did shift work some years ago - never night shift, but switching between 8-4 and 3-11 was plenty bad enough. I felt like I spent two years in a perpetual fog of tiredness. I am so glad you are getting help. Sound the trumpet and knock down those walls!

Report Inappropriate Comment
4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 1/23/2013 5:49PM

    Good luck with sticking to your plan and overcoming this obstacle. I know you can do this! Wishing you a smooth transition to nights.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWIMLOVER 1/23/2013 5:32PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IAMAGEMLOVER 1/23/2013 5:15PM

    emoticon emoticon Stay the course, full speed ahead.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SIMOFDIM 1/23/2013 5:10PM

    I wish you well in the next 7 days. I will be sending you loving kindness. Good luck, and I feel like you can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRE1956 1/23/2013 4:42PM

    Hang in there!

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.
Member Comments Page (249 total):  < Previous 1 2 3 4 Next > Last >>